Page 115 of Gunner

“Except for the things you omitted.”

“Yes, I may have omitted some things, but whatever I said was always the truth. Mason’s gone, Ben. It’s just us now. Are we going to let his ghost divide us?”

I shook my head. “Go. Please, just go. I can’t bear to look at you right now.”

Because I wanted to believe him so much that he might have started this relationship with me under false pretenses but his feelings had changed. But that was horny Ben talking. Something the Ben who was desperate to fill the void being with Mason had never done. The Ben who wanted to be completely loved. The Ben who wanted to be chosen for a change.

That Ben was too desperate and vulnerable to face Gunner.

“We have a date.”

“We don’t anymore. You won. You got me on my knees. Isn’t that enough?”

“Not nearly,” he said. “I can see nothing I say will get through to you tonight. I’ll go, but I’ll see you tomorrow. When you calm down, we can talk.”

“You don’t need to come around anymore, Gunner. The fucking jig is up. Why are you pretending there’s something more when we both know differently? Just stay the hell away from me.”

“Let’s get something straight.” Gunner stepped up to me so we stood toe to toe. “The first thing you should know is that I’m not Mason.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“It ain’t over just because you said so. I won’t walk away from this no matter how much you push me away.”

“I’ll fucking shoot you if you come on my property again.”

“Ten years ago, I wasn’t afraid of your bullets. And I’m still not. I knew being with you wouldn’t be easy, Benjamin, but I already got my mind set on you, so it’s gotta be you.”

“You—”

Gunner slammed his mouth to mine in a hard kiss. I struggled against him, but he didn’t let me go. He kissed me into submission until I was too weak and helpless to do anything but moan into his mouth.

“Take the night, cuss me out, make an oath to kill me. Do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better, but I’ll see you tomorrow. That’s my word. I’m sorry I ruined your night, but I’ll make it up to you.”

I watched him go, staring after his back in disbelief. Hadn’t he heard a word I’d said? There was no moreus. We were never meant to be together, and Mason’s journal had made that clear.

30

BEN

Christmas with Ben and my son was great. I could tell Ben wanted me to tell Jamie about us, but I couldn't. I sense another fight brewing.

Gunner had been by to walk Zeus. I could tell by the way Zeus sprawled on his tummy in the hall, tongue lolling and looking tired. As I walked past him, he didn’t get up to greet me. Just raised his head a few inches, then laid it back on the floor.

“Traitor,” I whispered, and he whined as if apologizing.

Usually, as soon as I came downstairs, he would go for his leash. The mud under his paws also gave away Gunner’s visit while I’d still been in bed. I’d stayed up all night, poring over Mason’s journal from cover to cover, and I’d barely gotten four hours of sleep. A throbbing headache hadn’t made it any easier to drag myself out of bed.

Because of Mason’s journal.

In a zombie-like state, I took the coffee grounds and a mug, but someone already got the coffee machine going. On a tray on the counter were two mouth-watering cinnamon buns.

Did he think feeding me would make up for what he’d done?

I grabbed the tray with the buns, but they looked so good and smelled delicious, too delicious to throw away. I was way too tired to make breakfast for Zeus and me. The pastries were innocent in all this. They were hardly to be blamed for Mason loving Gunner, sleeping with the other man while he was with me.

Mason, how could you? I was sincere toward you.

My stomach growled, reminding me I had skipped dinner yesterday, since I hadn’t gone on the date with Gunner. Hunger decided for me. I grudgingly poured myself a cup of coffee and demolished both buns, all the while hating how much I enjoyed them.

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