Page 114 of Gunner

I doubled my fist and rocked him a solid one right in the jaw. Gunner’s head flew back, and he stumbled into the fridge. My knuckles ached, but the satisfaction I’d been aiming for didn’t come, so I went after him again.

“What the fuck, Ben!” He blocked most of my punches but took one to the gut. He grabbed me by the jaw and shoved me back. “Don’t make me hurt you.”

Chest heaving, I glared at him. “Why are you with me?”

“What kind of question is that?” He slid his hand down from my jaw. Hell no, he didn’t. Not this time. I flung his hand away before he could reach my neck.

“Why are you fucking with me?” I shouted.

“Fine.” He took a step back. “You don’t want to go on a date. Just fucking say so.”

“You used me!” I wanted to say so much more, but I couldn’t, not out loud, not when I felt so ashamed. He was Gunner—the man I despised. Yet I’d fallen for his tricks and become his bitch. All those things he would call me when we had sex, and I’d thought they were sexy because he didn’t really mean them, but all this time, that was what he thought of me.

“If I used you, you used me right back.” He rubbed his jaw, scowling.

“What was your relationship with Chief Mason Dehaney?” I asked.

A flicker of surprise flashed across Gunner’s features. Crossing his arms, he smoothed his knitted brow, but he couldn’t release the tension in his shoulders.

“I’d say you already know,” he said. “So why are you asking?”

“Because I want to hear you say it,” I spat. “What was your relationship with him?”

“We fucked. Does that make you happy now?”

“For how long?”

“What the hell does that matter?”

“It matters to me. For how long?”

“Since we were teens.”

Of course. Mason had called him his first love. Once again, I got the leftovers. Even though I was the safer option, Mason had chosen him. Where did that leave me?

“Did you love him?”

“Ben, don’t do this. This is stupid. Mason’s dead.”

“No, I’m the one who’s stupid.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “You crashed the funeral. At the time, I had wondered what the hell you were doing there, but then Grimm whisked you away. I should have put two and two together then, but you were drunk. But you came because you felt you had a right to be there. All this time, you were using me, making a fool out of me whenever I slept with you. Was this your plan all along? To humiliate me?”

“Does that sound like the sort of revenge I would want to take? I didn’t want your body, Ben. I wanted to worm my way into your life, find out everything there is to know about you, and break you so badly you’d have wished you were never born.” Gunner closed the distance between us and brushed his hand over my cheek. “Then I realized the heat we generated when we touched. How your eyes would blaze with anger but your body would lean toward me the way it is now.”

I snapped my spine straight.

“But most of all, I noticed the way my life changed the longer you were in it. It made sense again.”

“Bullshit! Get off me.”

“At first, when I discovered the attraction was mutual, I did take perverse pleasure from having you on your knees. I would ask myself who you liked better. Me or Mason? Which one of us fucked you better? Made you moan louder? Made your legs spread faster?”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Did you listen to what I just said, Ben? It wasn’t Mason who mattered all those times. It was always about you and wanting to one-up his ghost. I wanted to be better than him for you.”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“I’ve always been truthful to you.”

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