Page 10 of Corporate Bondage

“Tate? What are you doing here?” I croaked his own question at him. I looked beyond his shoulder, and as right as rain there was Bryan, watching us and talking to the femme boy who owned the store.

“I came here with Bryan. He knows the owner and wanted us to stop by for a few. And you?”

“Um, I-I dropped off a-a fr-friend.” The lie stammered from my lips, and I couldn’t meet my eyes.

“Gio, are you gay?”

I swallowed hard and didn’t answer. I was prepared to object vehemently, but out of nowhere, I felt a release by him asking. Now was the time to finally come clean to him about what I should have told him a long time ago. It was now or never. Keeping it from him was one of the hardest things I had ever done. It wasn’t easy not sharing this secret with my best friend.

“Does it even matter?” I mumbled.

“What do you mean if it fucking matters?” His voice rose slightly and the men who stood beside me inched away. “Of course, it does. Why didn’t you tell me?”

That was the million-dollar question. I hadn’t known he was gay back in college. I had been afraid I would lose him as a friend if he found out. It was fucked up but he was the only friend I ever had. I never wanted him to find out I had a crush on him. At times I meant to tell him, but it never seemed to be the right moment. I had almost told him, but when he had shown me the engagement ring he had bought for Rachel, I had changed my mind. “The same way you told me you were bi?” I shot back at him. “I had to find out the same way everyone else did.”

“But shouldn’t that have made it easier for you to come out to me?”

I ran my fingers through my hair and snagged another glass of cocktail drink from the tray being maneuvered by one of the servers. “It wasn’t the right time.”

He frowned at me. “And how long did you know?”

I shrugged. “I confirmed it in college.”

“In college? Before we met?”

I hesitated a bit then drained the cocktail glass and looked him square in the eyes. It was now or never. “When we met.”

“When we met? You mean you…” He trailed off, the look of confusion on his face turning into wonder as my meaning became clear. My heart pounded in my chest at having finally divulged my truth. I clutched the glass in my hand, afraid my grip would shatter it but not being able to loosen my hold. I needed something to cling to.

“That’s right, Tate,” I stated with a calm I didn’t feel. I reached for his hand, but he pulled away. Hurt lanced my heart, and I allowed my hand to drop. So that was what rejection felt like. This was what I had tried avoiding all this time, not knowing how he would react. Even though he rejected me, my heart refused to take no for an answer. “I always suspected in high school. You know the locker room situation and finding myself checking out other guy’s junk and assets. But other than a few kisses and handjobs, I just chalked it down to experimenting. Then I met you in college, and I loved you, man. I just didn’t know how to tell you and face your rejection.”

“You’re joking, right?” He forced a chuckle as though he thought this would all go away like a bad joke. It was just the opening I needed to take back everything I had just said. Hell, I could even blame it on the alcohol. I had been drinking an awful lot tonight.

“I wish.” I was in for the big haul and refused to make this any easier for him. “I tried helping out after Kathleen and Rachel passed away. I never wished them any harm, Tate, and you of all people know how much I loved them like they were my family. They were my family. But when they died, I thought that maybe I would be granted the opportunity to be with you. But nothing worked as I planned.”

He expelled a harsh breath and his breathing came out loud and shallow. “Goddammit, Gio. Why tell me now? Why?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t plan to, but you caught me here, so if I’m going to tell you some of it, I might as well tell you all. I fucking love you man, and it hurts seeing you with that guy you have living at your place. Why him? Why not me?” My words came out bitter and I felt the tears of frustration in my eyes. I blinked them away and stared into my drink. Fuck, all this liquor turned me into a mess.

“Because you’re like a freaking brother to me. I love you, but not in the way you want.”

“But you could.” My eyes snapped up from the cup and turned in the direction he pointed where Bryan was chatting to the owner still. Behind the two, a large man with a beer gut was watching Bryan, the interest in his eyes event.

“I can’t just turn off my feelings for him and turn them on for you,” Tate stated. “Maybe if you had told me before— hell, I don’t know. Maybe not even then, but you cannot do this to me now. I love him.”

A little hope sprung up when he said, ‘maybe if you had told me before.’ If he hadn’t said that I would have probably given up this whole notion of chasing after Tate, but that was my little glimmer of hope. “You barely know him!” I snapped and grabbed his upper arm, stepping closer to him. “You don’t know the guy, Tate. You’ve known me for years. You know I won’t let you down. I did everything for you, looked after the funeral, took care of the house while you were away, and I waited for you. I waited for you to come back, and you had to do so with that smug piece of shit who’s just using you!”

Tate’s eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t talk about him like that!” He peeled my hand away from his arm. “Why the fuck would you do this now? I can’t deal with this, Gio.”

“Think about it,” I said with urgency as he started to walk away. “If you do, you’ll see it makes sense. You and I make sense. You and him? That’s not going to last. He can’t even get a fucking job. In the meantime, I’ll be here waiting on you, waiting to pick up your pieces again, when you get fucked over.”

I watched him sadly as he walked away from me and returned to his boyfriend. I flung back the drink and placed it on a counter in the store, not giving a shit if it ruined anything. I watched as Tate ripped a new one to the man approaching Bryan. Seeing me watching them, Bryan wrapped his arm around Tate’s neck and kissed him. Jealousy burned a hole in my gut.

The shop door opened, and my little redhead walked in with a few guys behind him. He was wearing tight leather pants and an unbuttoned vest which left his scrawny chest bare. I stalked over to him and when he saw me, his eyes widened and turned affectionate. I scowled at him. I didn’t want affection from him, but I would take it tonight and pound him into the bed until I expelled Tate from my head.

“Let’s go!” I growled at him, hauling him behind me, despite his protest.

“But I just got here,” Willie whined. “I want to stay.”

I squeezed his wrist and saw the pain flash into his eyes. “I need to fuck you to get some shit out of my system,” I told him plainly. “You can either come with me or I pick up someone else. What will it be?”

The hurt in his eyes now had very little to do with the physical pain from being held too tightly and everything to do with my words. I had made it clear to him that I viewed him as nothing more than a casual fuck. If he wanted to make more of it that was his business. The only thing I had a need for tonight was his cooperative holes.

“Okay.”

His one-word response was a self-inflicted uppercut to my chin. He didn’t really want to come home with me but was afraid I’d drop him if he didn’t. I felt disgusted at myself and released his arm. I stalked toward my car.

“I said I’ll come with you!” Willie shouted after me.

I ignored him and continued to the car only to find that some asshole had blocked me in. I couldn’t sit still and wait for the owner of the car to arrive. I walked away, trudging into the night without a destination in mind. It didn’t matter where I was going, just that I was still going after Tate shattered my heart tonight.

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