Page 20 of My Dear Mr. Corporate

CHAPTER 9

Bryan

Dread. That was the feeling that filled me each day I powered up my laptop to check my email. I had lost count of the number of applications I had sent out and only a handful had responded. Those had been rejection letters. Sorry, but we don’t believe you have the experience we’re seeking at this time. Please try again sometime in the future. I understood I had only the one experience working at Keith’s company, but I had demonstrated my competency there. I also had the relevant qualifications, so why wasn’t I being hired? I hadn’t even been able to score an interview since the one at Ingram’s.

I was almost tempted to believe Keith had something to do with this. Maybe the potential employers had called him up and checked me out and he kept giving them malicious information because I broke up with him, and wouldn’t take his calls the few times he had attempted to call me. However, I didn’t think a company would waste their resources investigating everyone who applied for a position. They would save that until after the interview.

With a sigh, I plunged into the inevitable and signed into my email. I had two letters from two companies I had applied to. One was a legal firm and the other an energy-efficient company. I held my breath as I checked one email, then the other. Two more letters of rejection. I had no idea companies even sent out letters of rejection before the interview stage. Most companies always advertised that they only responded to those who made it to the interview.

After reading the two emails, I felt even more despondent. I tried to keep a smile on my face when Tate was around but when he was at work, I was able to fret that I was never going to find a job. Each rejection letter left me feeling a little worthless. What if Gio had been right that what I was good for was being a go-go dancer?

On a whim, I grabbed my phone and punched in the numbers that I would not get out of my head, no matter how I wanted. The phone rang three times before the man I would sooner forget answered.

“Well, well, well, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Are you messing with me, Keith?” I asked, getting to the heart of the matter.

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you meet me somewhere for lunch and we can discuss it?”

“I’m not meeting you anywhere. I just want to know if you’re somehow fucking up every job opportunity that I try for?”

“Now why on earth would I do that?” he sneered at me. “You honestly think I give a fuck what you’re up to?”

“Yes. You’ve been calling my phone. I know you want me back and would do anything to sabotage what I have with Tate.”

He laughed in my ear. “You honestly think I give a fuck what you’re up to Bryan? Sure, it was good having you around. You were always willing to let me try out my fetishes on you. Always a ready, eager fuck. I broke you in but the day you walked out of my house with Rosenbaum you became his baggage.”

His words hurt and even made me feel a little humiliated. He was right. I had been so eager to please him that I’d let him do all sorts of things to me, never truly believing that I was enough. I grappled to take back control of the conversation.

“Then why did you suggest we meet just now and why call me?”

“Hey, I’m a man. I won’t turn down a free fuck if you’re offering. This time it might even be less expensive since Rosenbaum is taking care of you now, isn’t he?”

“Fuck you, Keith.”

“I think you have that a little twisted. I did all the fucking in our relationship. That’s the way you like it, don’t you, you little bitch?”

I hung up on him and cursed beneath my breath. Stupid. I shouldn’t have called him. I should have known how he would get. I’d called him to get answers that would make me feel better, but ended up only feeling worse. Talking to Keith had only reminded me where I came from and that I never seemed to be able to outrun my past. I was always reaching for that point where I felt wanted and of worth, but something always tried to hold me back.

So far Tate had not pried, and I hadn’t volunteered any information about my past. It wasn’t something I enjoyed talking about and I hadn’t looked back since I left state care four years ago. It was a part of my life I preferred to pretend didn’t exist but sooner or later Tate was going to ask questions and I’d have to relive my childhood.

My cell phone rang, and I almost ignored it before I glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Tate. If I didn’t answer he would only call again and worry. I cleared my throat before swiping the phone.

“Hi, what’s up?” I asked, getting to my feet and walking toward the sliding doors. I pressed the combination of keys on the wall and the doors slid to the left. Outside was a cool day and the light fluttering of the breeze tousled my hair.

“I was calling your phone just now and it said you were on another call,” Tate responded.

I didn’t like lying to Tate, but I didn’t want him to know I had called Keith either. I didn’t want to plant the idea in his head that I suspected my ex was somehow sabotaging every job opportunity I applied for. Not only didn’t I have any proof of that, but it also sounded like a crazy excuse on my part to justify why no one wanted to hire me. An excuse for being a failure and not good enough. Never good enough.

“It was an unimportant job call,” I replied, not completely lying. “I was checking up on a lead, but it led to a dead end.”

“Still no luck, huh?”

“Still nothing. I guess it’s probably time to reassess and see what I’m doing wrong.”

“Don’t stress about it. I’ve got you. Why don’t you quit job hunting for a while and meet me for lunch?”

I did need the distraction and Tate was good for that. “Okay. Where do I meet you?”

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