Page 93 of Extreme Romancing in Idaho

“Yeah. It is.” I stood awkwardly above him. Lifting my hand toward my mouth, I attempted to chew my nails, but my gloves thwarted me. I let my hand fall back to my side.

Dan coughed, clearing his throat. “So, I guess, uh, you … Do you want to go first?”

“Sure,” I drawled out my response. No, I didn’t want to go first! What was wrong with me? “Yippee-Ki-Yay. Am I right?”

I meandered toward the cliff’s edge and began shoving the rope through the metal loops attached to my harness. Inch by inch it slid through my gloves.

The tips of my tennis shoes touched the edge. Tiny bits of gravel cascaded over and were carried away in the wind.

Holy daisies in a handbasket!

The bottom of the cliff was so far away. It blurred in the glaring sunlight. Panicked breaths shoved their way in and out of me.

I didn’t want to do this. Couldn’t do it. I dropped the rope and unclipped the carabiner attached to the metal circle I’d looped the rope through. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.” My ears rang. My mouth had already gone dry with the potential of a proposal and the added stress of being on an outcropping of a tall boulder.

“What do you mean?” Visible sweat beaded on Dan’s forehead as he leaned one hand against the rock.

One careful step at a time, I backed away from the edge until I stood beside him. I took his hand in an almost desperate grip. The leather of our gloves bunched in my palm. I needed to come clean. I’d taken this too far.

I took a deep breath. “I’ve been lying to you this whole time.”

“You’vebeen lying tome?” Dan cringed and leaned away from me with each word.

“Yes.” With my admission, my inner word dam broke. “When I saw your profile picture, I thought I needed to find a different sort of guy. Change up where I looked for matches. Change myself. I’d tried everything for a year and was desperate to find someone to connect with.” I gulped in air. “I’m terrified of heights. I wanted to pretend to be someone else. And I thought I could make it work. Become a person you’d be interested in. The truth is, I’ve never been off my farm. I’ve never jumped off a bridge. I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, let alone canyoneered in the back country—”

“Shh. It’s okay.” He cut me off. “I sort of don’t do extreme sports either.”

“Hold up.” I held up a finger. “You’re not a BASE jumper?”

Had I wasted the past three months? Still holding his hand, I sat on the rock, and he followed my lead. This entire spring and summer, we werebothlying? Maniacal laughter bubbled inside me. What were the odds of two people semi-catfishing each other? The only thing we didn’t lie about was what we looked like. I couldn’t contain my laughter anymore, and it spilled from me. We were perfect for each other, except, maybe not. This summer had changed me. Before it, I would have been completely content with a man like Dan. Now I wanted … more.

Dan’s eyebrows wrinkled as he tried to make sense of my laughter. “No. I’m also terrified of heights. I thought maybe if I investigated dating in a completely different group, I’d find more success, you know?”

“Oh, do I ever,” I mumbled.

He went on as if he hadn’t heard me. “I don’t run a skydiving business or have a cabin in Pine. I’m an accountant. I love Excel sheets and data. And for the love of Pete, I like being safe. I didn’t lie about Ted Martin. He’s my idiot friend who helped me hatch this scheme.”

I let his words die in the wind and listened to nothing but the sound of my heart and our rough breaths. All this time, I’d been trying to catch a guy by lying and,plot twist,he was doing the same thing to me.

Had I wasted the last three months of my life forcing my square self into a circular mold? Even before I finished asking myself the question, my mind responded. No. Without this spring and summer, I never would have known how much I craved excitement or how much I needed to live my own life.

It was odd how in pretending to be someone else, I’d discovered myself.

At the start of this, I’d had no interest in BASE jumping. Now, I wasn’t so sure. What would it be like to have Remi with me and feel the weightlessness, the thrill of falling through the vast emptiness of air?

“You weren’t skydiving with execs for the past two weeks?”

“Nope. I was working on a budget for a client, and then I went to a seminar to get my CPE’s. Not nearly as exciting.”

“You could have told me the truth.”

Dan shook his head and sagged against the rock. “We’re kind of perfect for each other. Aren’t we?” He let out a laugh. “Are you still interested in being with me? Like possibly marrying me?” He dipped his head away and looked at me from the corner of his eye, his Adam’s apple bobbing more than ever.

There it was. I’d been waiting through part of winter, all of spring, and the beginning of summer for this moment. I could beg him to marry me tomorrow, and Papa would be there on my wedding day. He would be by my side to hold me as I said goodbye to Papa. But in the split second I thought about Papa leaving me, it wasn’t Dan standing next to me, comforting me in my fantasy.

Crap. Everything around me spun.

Dan turned to grip both my hands. His eyes locked on his target, and he moved in.

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