Page 33 of Extreme Romancing in Idaho

“There are two exceptions. First, on the Farm cards you have to do the actions in the same order as the symbols on the card.” Nora finished off her cookie and dusted crumbs from her hands.

“If a FarmFrenzycard hits the deck, you do all the actions forward as listed and then proceed to do them backward.” Angie glanced at her watch and then at me again.

I guessed she’d be leaving for work soon, given she wore navy-blue scrubs. “And for the storm cloud, hand in the air. For the heart, hand to the chest. Pictures of the green plants, hit the table. Image of the sun, back of the hand to the forehead flick the sweat.”

Tony fished a card with the bright red heart on it from the deck. “This card’s my favorite. It takes a lot of heart to be a farmer.” He nudged me and gave me the cutest little old man wink, topping it off with a nod toward his daughter.

As cross as a hog headed to slaughter, Angie narrowed her eyes at her dad and shook her head once. I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows at her, purposefully being peskier than a thorn in her side.

Angie cleared her throat. “If you’re the last one to do the motion, you take the pile. Winner is the one who gets rid of all their cards first.”

“You ready?” Tapping his deck on the table, Tony eyed me with a quirk of his lips.

I was about as ready as a hen in a hog hunt. I couldn’t even remember playing a simple game of Uno. I tried to think of one board game in the big house … Nothing. Not even chess.

Last time I’d held a deck of cards was at the high stakes table in Vegas.

I nodded, and Nora flipped the first card, Angie, me, then Tony. Round and round we went. The three Johnsons remained laser-focused on the revealed cards. Angie flipped her card. Competition must be genetic.

Farm Frenzy. I didn’t stand a chance. Grass. Cloud. Heart. Forehead, flick. They slapped the table, ran through the motions, and tapped it again before I had my hand in the air. The three of them looked so ridiculous I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ha!” Tony shoved his pointer finger at me. “Remi gets the pile.”

Nora joined in my laughter while Angie’s cheeks pinkened.

“This game is a bit frenzied.” I gathered my massive pile of cards from the center of the table. “Y’all look like you were struck by lightning.”

A chorus of laughter erupted at my comment. I couldn’t help but compare them to my family. We never laughed like this around the dinner table. We never spent time together. Ever.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get better at it.” Flicking the cartoon-animal-covered cards like a professional poker Daniel Negreanu or a Phil Ivey wannabe, Angie met my eyes. “At least I hope you’re capable of improvement,” she mumbled under her breath.

Maybe she hadn’t intended for me to hear it, but I had. Tony and Nora kept chatting like they hadn’t caught her final comment. One mistake, maybe two … definitely less than a dozen this week, and she neglected to appreciate all the work I did for her. Flashing, neon arrows in my mind pointed to the wood bin full to the brim. If I hadn’t taken my shirt off, it surely would have pit stains and back sweat. Even still, it was damp from when I’d put it back on after chopping wood.

Card play resumed. It. Was. On.

Flip.

Flip.

No match.

The tension built with each card placed, the pile growing larger and—

Two suns! I slapped my forehead so hard I’d certainly have a red welt left over, then flicked aggressively enough to tweak my wrist.

Tony’s hand flicked a millisecond after everyone else. He groaned and took the cards. “That was a bad one. Don’t worry. I’ll come back.”

“Ow. That looks like it hurt,” Angie said to me, while she exchanged a half-smile with Nora. “Your forehead okay?”

“It’s fine as frog fur.”

My answer sent the whole table into a fit.

“That’s an interesting saying.” Nora set down a heart card. “Does everyone from Texas speak like that?”

“I reckon so.” The phrase slipped out before I realized how very Texas it was.

Once again, they all broke into hysterics. Not sure what made me so entertaining, I offered a curtesy chuckle, my focus remaining on the game.

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