Page 16 of Extreme Romancing in Idaho

All the good ones were lesbians. But, good news, it explained why she was so indifferent to me. The world made sense again.

She laughed, presumably at the face I must have been making. “I’m not gay.”

The vice around my chest eased. “Cool. I mean, I’m good whatever your sexual orientation is.” I leaned against the truck, but my glove slipped against the slick metal, and I lurched to the side. I hid my stumble by slapping my glove on my leg.

She paused, looked at me, opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. Turning from me, she typed furiously on her phone, pressing send ten times in less than thirty seconds.

“Hold on there, tiger.” I snatched her phone, quickly glancing at her messages.

“Hey!” she yelled. “Give it back.”

“What is this?” I flicked through the rest of her messages and read them out loud in my most feminine voice. “I can’t believe you’ve hiked Kilimanjaro. I would die for an opportunity like that.” I snorted. “What are you wearing right now?” My voice dropped into my normal octave as I read how ridiculous her last message was.

“Shut up.” She grabbed her phone, and I let her take it.

“You’re never going to get this guy if you keep sending messages like that. You’re coming on too strong.”

“What do you know? Dan’s nothing like you.”

She cradled her phone against her chest like she thought this man was a soft and gentle baby animal.

“He’s a man, and men want one thing.” I held up my pointer finger in her face. “Sex,” I mouthed.

“You. Are. Disgusting.”

“I also happen to be a man. Keep going on like this and you’ll chase him away faster than greased lightning.”

“Greased lightning? What are you—”

“How many times have you been ghosted after you matched?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Oh, this is worse than I thought. All of them dropped you, didn’t they?”

The slight sag in her shoulders and the way her chin dipped down a notch gave me the answer I needed. She had all the goods but none of the game.

“No.” Her denial was too adamant to be true.

I gave her a look that told her exactly how much I believed her.

“This time, it’s going to be different.” She changed her tune.

“No. It isn’t. This dude is a text message away from running.”

She was giving away too much too soon. If only she’d let me teach her my ways, then she’d have men four states over begging to be with her. Every instinct in me told me this land deal hinged on Angie. If I got her to agree, then her parents would follow; therefore, the closer I got to her, the better. “The only way this guy will stick around is if I help you.”

“Whatever. You’re barely competent enough to feed cows.”

“Would you rather end up with cows or men?”

Just as she was about to spew another quick retort, defiance leeched from her eyes. “You know all about the extreme sports scene, don’t you?”

“Lesson one. When you say stuff like ‘scene’ you sound like you’re eighty.”

“I don’t know why I even tried.” She rubbed her temple in circles and started to walk away. “Forget it.”

“Yes. I dabble in extreme sports.” As in, I’ve done everything: skydiving, kiteboarding, motocross, canyoneering. You named it. I’d done it.

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