Page 103 of Extreme Romancing in Idaho

“Focus on me. And take deep breaths. In and out.” He helped me into the house—into his bedroom.

I couldn’t fight him. Couldn’t listen to him and gain control of myself. My breaths still came in short gasps. My head dizzied. The fire propelling me through this nightmare went out. Doused by the torrent of tears, I couldn’t stop.

The door latch clicked, cutting off the light from the living room and sending us into darkness. He took my stethoscope and placed it on his dresser.

He pulled me onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m so sorry.”

No wonder he was sorry for me. I was a nothing. Had nothing. No money. Still terrified of heights. Useless in a raft. Soon to be fatherless. Even with all my schooling, I hadn’t been able to save Papa or manage to drive the probability of those precious babies living any higher.

I was a worthless, powerless loser.

Pressing me to his chest, he massaged my head, running his fingers over my scalp and along my spine, sending soothing, calming chills chasing through my body.

“I’m not ready, Remi.” I balled my fists against his chest and cried into his shirt. “I can’t say goodbye. It’s not fair.”

“I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked.

I didn’t need to hear anything else. I didn’t want advice or for someone to say it was okay. Nothing about Papa dying wasokay. With him gone, my life wouldn’t beokayfor a long time.

Remi’s soft words, packed with emotion, sabotaged the rest of my strength.

I let go of my pain, of my fear, my anger, and jealousy of anyone who had a healthy papa. I let it all out, while he simply held me.

Chapter 40

Remi

Theclearpartofthe eggs started turning white as I sprinkled salt, pepper, and a handful of cheese over them. Breaking the yolks, I stirred it all together with my favorite bamboo spatula.

I’d already eaten my first breakfast, checked on the crops, made sure my repair still held water, gave the re-tasked construction crew their orders for the day, and returned here to find Angie still sleeping … at one p.m.

For all I cared, she could sleep until tomorrow. Heaven only knew she needed it.

I made another breakfast, so she would wake up to the smell of bacon, a glass of fresh orange juice—well, as fresh as I could get it at Nora’s grocery—and scrambled eggs. I liked good food, and sometimes the fancy chef my mother hired cooked such weird things like duck liver and haggis, that I’d to learn to cook to allow my tastebuds to live to fight another day.

This morning, after I’d woken up beside her, I’d watched Angie sleep. It convinced me more than ever that I wanted to wake up next to her every morning for the rest of my life. It was a first for me. Sleeping with a woman without having sex. It created a tender, unbreakable bond between us, more intimate than intercourse.

My door creaked open. I smiled. The last of the liquid solidified into golden clumps in the pan. Perfect timing.

Grabbing the handle, I turned to face Angie. Her low ponytail was mussed into a lopsided, tangled mess, and her scrubs were wrinkled.

She yawned and walked toward me with sleep still in her eyes. “What time is it?”

“One fifteen.”

Her eyes came fully awake. “I’ve been here that long? I’ve got to get home. Papa—”

“Is doing fine. No change from when you left. Jared’s been with him, and I think they’ve appreciated the alone time.”

Her shoulders relaxed, and she dropped her gaze to the table. “What’s all this?”

“I thought you’d be hungry. So, I made you breakfast … well … two breakfasts. I had to eat the first by myself.” I set the eggs on the table and pulled a chair out for her.

She stood, frozen in the awkward space between the living room and the kitchen, looking at me like she saw me for the first time. Admiration. Wonder. Love. All present in her eyes.

I wasn’t a good guy. Every single woman in my past would treat me the same as Kathryn had, and I deserved it.

With yesterday’s events, I’d betrayed Angie with a notary and a stack of papers. Tony had said he’d talk to her when she returned home from the hospital. Thinking he’d be able to spare me from blame, he’d asked me to keep quiet until then.

---