Page 88 of Extreme Romancing in Idaho

The last of the sparks faded to oblivion on their crash course to Earth.

Chapter 33

Angie

Blueballoonsbouncedontheir tethers, and the last of the binky-topped cupcakes disappeared from the tower. I sat in one of the extra chairs we’d put up in Renee’s living room. Lili smiled and waved at each of her departing guests. The dandelion crown I’d made her now sagged to the side of her head.

Tucking my feet under my seat, I studied the wood grain in Renee’s floors. I might as well be a wax statue for how much I contributed to the conversation.

Angie … I love you.

Those four words in Remi’s deep, sexy, and frustrating voice kept puncturing my focus. Sadly, I couldn’t just forget he’d said it. Nope. Something like this embedded itself into my short and long-memory stores.

Ugh! How could I let myself become wound up in Remi? How many girls had he dropped the big L-word on? He’d probably told that poor girl on his porch he loved her, then he wrung her dry, sucked everything he wanted from her, and abandoned her.

No wonder she’d shown up on his doorstep on the Fourth of July and begged him to give her another chance. I could see myself doing the same thing if I had the willpower the size of an ant.

The closing door snapped me from my thoughts. Renee, Lili, and Gabby all stared at me.

“All right.” Lili placed her hands on her hips, her large belly protruding over her shoes. She pulled the wilted dandelions from her head and swung them in front of my face. “Out with it.”

“You’ve been off in La-La Land this whole shower.” Gabby collected the torn wrapping paper and shoved it into a leftover box. She set the box filled with paper down and sat next to Renee. “Is it your dad?”

Papa. He only moved from his TV chair to his bed. Since the rafting trip, he’d taken a turn for the worse. How he struggled. Papa never spent much time indoors even in the winter. He was built to roam his land.

Keeping my gaze locked on the floor, I rubbed at my nose and the sudden pressure behind my eyes. I’d spent so much time running the farm, working, infatuated with Remi, obsessed with Dan, I hadn’t capitalized on my time with Papa.

Papa understood. Yet, as time with him became a measurable thing, I couldn’t help regretting every minute I didn’t spend by his side.

If I ever let myself stop and think about Papa and the evidence of his time running short, I would cease to function. I’d turn into a useless heap, a ball of paralyzing emotions in a puddle on the ground.

There had to be a miracle. Something to fix the brokenness in my life.

“No, Papa isn’t doing the best, but he’s had bouts like this, and he’s bounced back,” I finally answered Gabby and looked at her. Deep inside, I knew this was a lie. He would never bounce back from this, and soon I’d say goodbye to him.

Renee stopped stacking the disposable dishes on her coffee table. She leaned over the arm of the couch, placed a hand on my shoulder, and squeezed. She’d been through this before. Both she and Lili had parted with way too many loved ones. I admired Lili for having the courage to love Blake and Maddie and pop out more babies after losing her first family.

If I’d been placed in an identical situation, I wasn’t sure I’d come out of it similarly.

See the pile of emotional goop … oh yeah, that once was Angie.

“I call bullshit.” Renee dropped her hand to her side.

So much for Renee being sympathetic.

Lili set her crown on the table, stood before me, and spread her legs as if to balance the extra weight of the twins. “You can’t be hunky dory with everything going on.”

“I think there’s something more.” Gabby leaned onto her knees, focusing all her friend’s psychic abilities on me. “Spill it.”

I could count on Gabby being all practical, almost callus, with emotion. It was something as a nurse you had to do to survive … turn off emotion, or you’d drown.

“We’re in the circle of trust.” Lili sat in between Gabby and Renee.

All three of them stared at me, their eyes burning holes in my resistance. Sweat beaded on the back of my neck. I folded my lips together, doing my best to keep this nuke to myself.

“Remi told me he loves me,” I blurted, then buried my face in my hands. I’d never been good at keeping secrets anyway. The words spilled out of me like water from a broken pitcher.

I peeked through my fingers. As if on a puppet string, all three leaned away from me, like I’d dropped a stink bomb in the middle of the room.

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