Page 108 of Playing Flirty

William:I’m sorry for getting you fired. I didn’t think it would come to that.

William:I’ll take the fall. Tell me what to do.

William:And I’m sorry for bailing. I’m sorry for so many things, Rose. I never meant for all this trouble.

William:I’d like to talk to you in person if you’ll let me. But I need a little more time. Please. And then, if you still want to, we’ll talk.

I didn’t sleep a wink after that.

The entire drive back was spent in aching silence. As we pulled up to Shaun’s apartment building, a long groan escaped him.

“Good luck, my love,” Neema said. “What are you expecting?”

“Well, I’m hoping for the silent treatment—gives me more time to figure out how to apologize.” Jumping out of the car,he paused before closing the door. “I’m expecting he’s changed the locks and left all my belongings in the foyer.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” I said, staring at my hands.

Shaun and I hadn’t talked about everything—about William and me sneaking around, and how he’d known. And more importantly, how he had it wrong.

“I said some horrible things.” Shaun swallowed, his voice hoarse. “Things I promised myself I would never say. Things I knew would hurt him in a bad way.”

Closing the door, he walked to the driver’s side window. He kissed Neema and waited.

“Rose?” he said, looking at me through her open window. “I was trying to protect you and us.” He gestured between the three of us. “I can’t lose my brother again, or you, and now I seem to have messed it up on all accounts.”

“Something the Ashdern boys are really good at,” I mumbled and released a long breath. I didn’t like fighting with Shaun. “And I am mad—really, really mad at you. Not only for thinking you could speak on my behalf, but for doing so behind my back. I can make my own decisions, even if you don’t agree with them.”

He nodded. “Understood.”

“We’re not done with this conversation, but you haven’t lost me, you idiot, and I’m sure with enough groveling, you’ll get William back too.” My lungs squeezed breathing his name.

“If he doesn’t come around, do you want to be my best man?”

“She’s taken.” Neema gave him a kiss and pushed him out of the window. “And her maid of honor duties will be keeping her busier than usual.”

As soon as we left, Neema turned to me. “Have you spoken to William? Are you okay?”

I shut my eyes and exhaled. “I don’t know if we’re okay. I don’t know what ‘okay’ is since we’re not anything.” My voice cracked. All I could think about wasStacey. “Maybe we were never ‘okay.’” I looked out the window. “It was just a stupid game, and I’m not innocent. I was playing it too, but I think maybe we were playing different games. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it.” A harsh sob broke from me, and while my mother had always called me a crier, this was excessive.

I had no idea what was going on in William’s mind or what he needed time for, but I imagined he wanted to let me down as easily as possible and wait until after the wedding. My heart crumbled as I imagined the pain in his eyes. The regret.

And the mere thought that I had anything to do with that regret drowned me.

I couldn’t lose him. I would miss the light in his eyes, the secret smile he offered me and only me, the pleasure of that dimple, the hunger, his strong hands. I would miss everything.

Neema opened her mouth to speak but hesitated before finally saying the words she held back. “Let me know if you need a plus-one for Patrick. Whatever you decide, I’m here.” She looked at me, studying me before adding, “I think you’re wrong, by the way. I think you were playing the same game, only you were both confused about the rules.”

Chewing my lip, I turned my attention to the trees whipping by fast enough to bring on nausea, which was easier than trying to untwist my tangled heart.

Later that evening, my maid of honor duties kicked into high gear, and I was tasked with collecting our dresses from the dressmaker along with the boys’ suits. William wouldn’t needhis now that he’d backed out, but I wasn’t about to explain that to the woman who’d spent so much time creating them.

Because Shaun and Neema agreed they wouldn’t see each other for the last few days before the wedding, I had to drop Shaun’s suit at his apartment. And if I was being honest… I was hoping to accidentally run into William. It had been less than twenty-four hours since his text message, but my need to see him grew with each passing second.

My need to tell him he had it wrong. Shaun had it wrong.

William was perfect for me. And I was perfect for him—if he’d let me be.

“Hey, thanks for this,” Shaun said, opening the door and taking the bags from me.

---