Page 94 of Hold on Tight

Sam and the other kids had climbed down from the structure and Sam was demonstrating pinecone baseball to them. They were developing an actual game, with home plate and several bases, and it looked like they were dividing into two teams. She watched closely for a moment, but they split without visible trouble into two groups, and Sam’s team lined up near the improvised home plate to bat.

Sam was up first. He turned around where he stood, as if searching for something he’d lost. But he hadn’t brought anything with him. He caught her eye and looked away.

Squirrelly.

She frowned.

Sam swatted at the ball and somehow beat the throw to first. He jumped up and down and tried to catch her attention. “Did yousee?” he called.

“That was great!”

Sam craned his head and looked around, and she followed his gaze, and then she saw Jake.

He was striding up the path toward them, purposeful and even, his shoulders big enough to support a house. He was still a good distance away, and she got to watch him narrow the distance between them, figuring it out as he approached—he and Sam had plotted this, that squirrelly boy—and then swooning a little under the rush of pleasure that brought—they’d plotted this because he was coming to tell her he’d been an idiot, although her underwear was all fucking wrong, white cotton top to bottom.

He was carrying a cooler and wearing a T-shirt and jeans, and seriously, she was having these intense, unstoppable fantasies about peeling him out of his clothes and riding him while he lay under her, staring up at her in worship.

Um, that was the opposite of bossy.

But they could do that too, right? Because here he was, and he wassmiling. Smiling!

Only then he wasn’t. He was frowning, and he was hurrying off the path toward the baseball game, and she turned to see Sam bent over, and—

She ran.

Chapter 31

Sam was beside himself. “Iruinedeverything,” he said.

“You didnot,” Mira said.

They sat on opposite sides of Sam’s gurney in an ER triage room. He was fine, breathing well, though a little hyper from the steroids they’d given him. They were waiting for the pediatrician on staff to see and discharge him.

Jake and Mira had reached Sam’s side at the same moment, and everything had happenedfastafter that. They’d tried to get him calmed down, tried to get him to relax and just breathe, but it had been a long time since he’d had an attack and he’d lost the knack. No one around had an inhaler, and Mira vowed that when this was over, she was going to strap one permanently to Sam’s arm.

Without discussion, they’d split the tasks. Jake had used every inch of his physical presence and every ounce of his natural command to make the crowd back off to give them more space. Mira had coached Sam to relax and breathe, and when it became evident that wasn’t going to happen, Jake had scooped him up and run him toward the parking lot as Mira ran alongside, dialing 911. By the time they reached the parking lot, Sam’s breathing was a little less labored, and minutes later, the ambulance arrived. Mira rode in the back with Sam, and Jake drove Mira’s car to the hospital.

Now was the first moment she’d had to consider the events of the last forty-five minutes, and her emotions were in an uproar. They’d been in an uproar before Jake had showed up and rearranged the topsy-turvy world once again. Before Sam had been, if not in mortal danger, scaring the shit out of her. Before Jake had been exactly the father Sam needed, the man Mira wanted.

But parenting was parenting, and she wasn’t going to get any time to think or sort things out. Sam was crying.

“Jake had a whole plan. He had a picnic and wine and he was going to tell you he was sorry and he wanted to spend lots of time with us, and then he was going to kiss you, and I ruined itall.”

She looked over at Jake, and he nodded to confirm Sam’s story. That was it, just a nod, but her hope winged, a rustle of feathers, an unwinding of the dread and sadness she’d carried with her.

“I ruined the picnic and now you won’t get back together and Jake will never live with us and you will never ever ever ever ever get married likenormalmoms and—”

“Sam,” Mira said. “Honey. You didn’t ruin anything. You’re not in charge. You don’t have the power to ruin things. Your dad and I are in charge. We’re the only ones who can ruin things.”

Startled, Jake looked up and met her gaze. She gave him a small, tight nod.That’s right, you heard right. You and I. We.

“I think sometimes I’ve made you feel like you have to take care of me,” Mira said to Sam, leaning down over the bed and touching her lips briefly to his forehead.

She sat up and looked pointedly at Jake. “But you don’t. I’m really, really good at taking care of myself.”

She held Jake’s gaze, and she saw a reflection of her own hope in his eyes. “Although,” she said. “Wow, it was good to have you there. In the park. Thank you. For everything. You were …”

There didn’t seem to be an adequate word to describe what it had felt like in that moment, having a partner, having someone who cared as much as she cared and who could do what had to be done. Or how easy it had felt to let him, how right.

---