Page 28 of Hold on Tight

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. He was fine. He said nothing hurt anymore. I kept a close eye on his breathing, and I only let him do short runs, with lots of breaks.”

“That’s not the point. The point is that you knew I don’t let him do that, and you let him do it! The point is, he has asthma, and he could have had an asthma attack.” She got up and began clearing the table, her motions jerky with anger.

He couldn’t sit here and watch her clean up, so he got up and helped. “We had his inhaler.”

“That’s not your decision, Jake. You’re hisbabysitter. That’s it. Hisbabysitter.” She jammed a paper plate into the trash. “And you’re not even his babysitter anymore, because I’m firing you.”

“No. Mira, please don’t. He wanted to show off a little for me, and I wanted to let him. He seemed like he could use the confidence boost. And he wanted to see me run on this damn thing.” He gestured at the leg.

Some of the starch went out of her posture. She took a step back and touched her fingertips to her temples. He became aware of the ticking of a clock, of the hum of the refrigerator, of the sound of a car starting on the street outside. Of her breathing, rapid and shallow.

“He loved it.” He had to make her understand, that running wasn’t a danger to Sam. Thathewasn’t a danger to Sam. Because he wanted this. Wanted another day with Sam, another evening with Mira.

She put her hand over her mouth.

“You should have seen him.” Sam, legs pumping as he powered across the finish line, the expression on his face. “God! He was so psyched. He was running as hard as he could, and loving it. Smile as big as a barn, and—he’s a tough kid, Mira. He’s a great kid. He’s a great kid, and I took good care of him, I promise.”

Not trying to convince her anymore. Only saying it because it mattered to him. “He’s a great kid. And I want to spend more time with him. If you don’t want me to run with him, I won’t run with him.”

She lifted her chin, and he thought maybe she was about to kick him out, but she nodded instead. “Heisa great kid. And I get it. I get why you did it. It makes sense to me. But if you want to spend time with him, you have to respectmyboundaries. And that means asking before you let him do stuff like that.”

Jake nodded. “Got it.”

“Sounds like it was good for him.”

“It was definitely good for me. First time I’ve really run on this sucker.”

Her eyes took him in, a slow survey of his face. The flush of anger that had risen earlier in her cheeks covered her throat and extended to the smooth fair skin above the curved neckline of that insubstantial silk shell she wore.

He became aware that the adrenaline that had fueled him through their exchange had transmuted into a much more familiar feeling. Balls tightening, dick hard. Every soldier knew about this. You got scared or pissed, and then you were so fucking horny you had to jerk one out silently under the feeble cover of your sleeping bag, or in the shower and hope you didn’t get walked in on.

That high-emotion arousal meant nothing. This hard-on wasn’tforher. He didn’t have to act on it.

And yet he couldn’t stop thinking about grabbing her and pushing up her shirt and sucking her breasts and unfastening her Professional Lady Pants and getting his hand in her panties so he could see if she was ready. Somehow, years of combat, of death and destruction, hadn’t managed to eradicate the memory of her wet heat against his fingers that night by the lake. Or the sounds she’d made into his mouth when he’d kissed her.

He wanted to get it right this time. He wanted to be buried in her so far she could taste him.

And his dick was totally, completely, 100 percent on board.

It just went to show that dicks were stupid, stupid, stupid.

He’d been staring at the smooth expanse of her skin above where the silk flirted with her breasts, and when he lifted his eyes, they met hers. She stared back. Curious. Watching him watch her.

For a long, frozen moment, he couldn’t look away.

Finally he forced himself to look down at his hands, which, he discovered, were in fists.

Fuck.

This wasn’t a place where he could afford to mess around. This wasn’t a part of his life where he could make dumb mistakes. This was a situation that called for him to be a grown man with big balls who stuck to the program.

The exact opposite of how he’d been three days before he got his leg blown off, in fact. The exact goddamned opposite.

“This is too complicated,” he said.

“I know.” But she stepped closer, close enough that she violated some magic boundary line, and his chemical world shifted, every hair on his body rising to attention. Along with some other things.

“We need to keep it simple.” But it was possible he’d taken a step forward, too. More than possible. There was almost no distance between them now, and he could smell her shampoo. It reminded him of new leaves.

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