Page 100 of Holding Out

She sat with her friends and ate Alia’s breaded chicken breasts stuffed full of prosciutto, mozzarella, and basil.But she couldn’t actuallytasteit.She also couldn’t pay attention to anything anyone was saying.Trina told a story about something fabulous that Phoebe had done, Sam and Cora told a story about a pilgrimage they’d made to Powell’s Books in Portland, Hunter and Nate got into a fight about whether the Mariners were having a rebuilding year or if their GM was just an incompetent bastard.But the only thing in Becca’s head was Griff’s words:I am sitting in the Toutle River rest area off I-5, feeling like I just won the lottery.

They were the longest two hours of her life.But the man she wanted most was well worth holding out for.

49

He rang the doorbell at Nate and Alia’s and it opened slowly, revealing Becca wearing jeans and a scoop neck pink T-shirt that bared a delicious helping of curves.

Not that he noticed.

“Hey,” Becca said.“Eyes up.Groveling before ogling.”

She was grinning at him.A full-on Becca smile.It was impossible not to smile back.

He peered behind her.“It’s awfully quiet back there.”

“Robbie, Phoebe, and Clara are in bed.Everyone else went out to Bottoms Up.I don’t think any of them actually wanted to be around when you showed up.”She smirked.“Alia may have hinted about how traumatized she was by what she witnessed the last time....”

He made a chagrined face.“Yeah.The couch is off-limits.”He smiled at her.“But hopefully that doesn’t mean you’re off-lim—?”he began, but she grabbed the back of his head and yanked him down.Her mouth was soft and warm, and she opened to the slightest tease of his tongue.And moaned.Which made him instantly hard.

“What if we just skip all the talking and I take you back to my room?”he whispered against the sensitive curl of her ear, and she shivered.

“Mmm,” she murmured.She turned her head to capture his mouth again, twining her tongue against his in a way that made him think about other things he was going to do to her as soon as possible, preferably right now.

Then she drew back abruptly.“Wait, no.I don’t need you to grovel, but I have things I need to say.”

He chuckled, because she looked so fierce.“Shoot.”

She drew a deep breath.“There are lots of things I should probably say, but I was thinking about it and the only one that actually matters is that I love you.”

He couldn’t keep the startled expression from showing on his face.She flinched, but to her credit, she straightened her shoulders and said, “Ido.I love you, and I hope that you love me, but if you don’t, that’s okay, too.And for what it’s worth, you were right.I looked at you and Marina and I saw what I’ve always seen in the past, which is that I’m notenough, not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worth sticking around for.And I can’t promise I’ll never make that mistake again because it’s difficult to unlearn bad habits, but I’m working really hard on it.Because you make me want to be better all the time in all the ways.”

“If it helps at all,” Griff said, “I don’t actually want you to be better.I want you to be exactly the way you are.And I love you.So much.”

That made her laugh and cry at the same time, which made him kiss her again.Until they had to break apart to breathe.

When she’d caught her breath, she said, “I also want to say that you don’teverhave to worry that I will pull a Marina on you because I cannot fathom how any woman who had you for her happily ever after could possibly throw it away.”

“Oh,” he said, because she’d struck him speechless.

I cannot fathom how any woman who had you for her happily ever after could possibly throw it away.

“Becca,” he said.

She looked terrified.She’d said a lot of things, and he knew better than anyone how hard that must be.She was a woman who’d been shown more than once that she wasn’t “worth” the trouble, and he’d almost done what Nate had made him promise he wouldn’t and reinforced that message.Still, she’d put everything on the line to tell him she loved him, and—

“I meant what I said about not wanting you to change.I never should have said that thing about you needing to grow up.”

No,” she said.“You were right.And like most of the things you say to me, it made me realize I had some things I needed to work out.It led to an overdue conversation with Alia about my needing a little more mental space.”

“Right or wrong, it was cruel.I was angry and scared and I lashed out.”

“I know,” she said.“I forgot—I did the worst thing and blindsided you.”

He shook his head.“You were just trying to make sense out of the Marina thing.I handled that so badly.That must have been confusing and awful—and then I didn’t say the right things at all.I should have said that I had been an idiot for leaving my shit at her house for so long but that I was completely over her because you had blown her out of my head and my heart and there was only room for you.And I should have said that in the beginning I thought we were just playing but every time I was with you, I learned more about you and fell harder for you.”

He ducked his head and kissed her, licking into her mouth until she clutched his head and whimpered.He released her, and she protested, but he had important things to say.

“One more thing,” Griff said, drawing back even though it pained him.“I know I asked this before, but then I blew it.So I’m going to try again.How would you feel about coming back to Tierney Bay, and we could get a place together?”

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