Page 96 of Holding Out

“Yeah?You think?”Griff asked the baby.“We had a pretty big fight the last time we talked.What was it about?I honestly can’t tell you.I think it was about the fact that most of the people she’s ever really cared about have let her down—”

He caught his breath with the sudden realization.

“I let her down,” he told Robbie.“I mean, I didn’t, but she thought I did, and she got scared.And then, instead of trying to make her feel better, I basically told her she was being stupid.Which is the thing she hates most in the whole world, except maybe for being told she’s not stupid.”

He set Robbie, now just hiccupping, down on the floor and began to change his stinky diaper.

“I love you a lot, man, you do know that, right?Because I would not do this for most people.”

Robbie gave him another smile, and Griff closed his eyes against the overwhelming tightness in his chest.

“And you know why I told her she was being stupid?Because I was scared.Because she was breaking up with me and I just couldn’t.I couldn’t do it again, man.I couldn’t lose—”

He was choking up, and there were tears in his eyes.

“Don’t judge,” he told the baby.“You cry more than I do.”

He thought suddenly of what Jake had said, about how the feeling that you didn’t deserve happiness would take and take from you as long as you let it.And he thought of telling Becca that she was pushing her own happiness away.

Griff looked down at Robbie, who was calm now, and quiet, staring back at him with big blue eyes.“Robbie, my friend.Uncle Griff might be a little bit of a hypocrite.”

Robbie gave a squeal of approval.

“Right?”

When the baby was clean and dry, Griff carried him upstairs, sat with him in his glider, and gave him his bedtime bottle.Robbie’s deep pulls on the bottle slowed.His eyes fell closed.He gave a sigh and relaxed fully into Griff’s arms.

Griff set him down in the crib and stood looking down at him.

“Babies, man,” he said.“You guys are the smartest people I know.”

47

“Are you saying you don’t have any massage therapists on call?”the woman with the shiny brown hair demanded.

“Iamsaying that,” Becca said patiently.“We don’t have enough demand for walk-ins to be able to provide that service.But I am happy to make an appointment for you to see one of our massage therapists for the next available opening, which I think is tomorrow morning at nine.Do you want me to look?”

“That’s not going to help me sleep tonight,” the woman said.“My shoulders are very tight.”

“I’m so sorry,” Becca said, meaning it.“I wish there was something I could do—”

“If you can’t help me, I’m going to go to Balm for the Soul Day Spa.It’s just a few blocks from here.”

Becca said, “Oh!That’s a great idea, actually.I know they have someone in on Thursdays.”

The woman crossed her arms.“You won’t get my business back if I do.”

“I’m certainly sorry to hear that,” Becca said.“We’ll still be here, though, if you change your mind.”

The woman huffed out, and Becca slumped in her seat.Phew.That was done, and best of all, she’d kept her cool.

Her phone chimed.It was Nate.

Are you busy?

She looked at her watch.It was twenty to four.Working.But there’s no one in here right now.Should be quiet for at least ten minutes till the next round of clients start showing up.

I’ve got someone here who wants to talk to you.

---