Page 82 of Holding Out

“I thought about calling ahead,” the woman said, as if to herself.“But I knew if I gave him a heads up, he’d figure out a way to avoid me—”

Becca was aware of being on a precipice—she could withhold the fact thatsheknew Griff’s cell number, and there was a fighting chance Marina would leave without ever speaking with him.She certainly didn’t look like a woman who was determined to stick to her guns.She wore a wavering expression that Becca—at least Old Becca—knew well.

But if Becca did keep Griff in the dark, she would always wonder.If she had stood between Griff and what he really wanted.She would always hear Nate’s voice in her head, stating in no uncertain terms that Griff still sought reconciliation.Wouldn’t it be better to know the truth, now?

“I’ll text him,” she said.

Marina’s eyes got big.“Would you?Thank you so much.”

Even once Becca had said it aloud, committed herself to it, her body didn’t want to execute the moves necessary.Her arm didn’t want to reach for her cell phone.Her fingers didn’t want to swipe the phone open, tap the message app, find Griff’s texts.The last text was him telling her he’d gone to get donuts and coffee.She stared at it for a minute, remembering.The thrill of waking up in Griff’s bed, the sheets scented not just with him but with them.The sheer, pure joy of the hot coffee, the funny mix of donuts, and his affection.

She couldn’t give it up.

Shh,New Becca told Old Becca.You’re getting way ahead of yourself.You were the one in his bed last night.You were the one he gave three orgasms to.And coffee and donuts.Chill the eff out.

But Marina was the one he married,Old Becca countered.

She was also the one who broke his heart.

C’mon, kiddo.You got this, New Becca said.He cares aboutyou.

She made herself type the text.Marina Potter is here to see you.In the PT office.

The reply came back instantly.I’ll be right there.

Couldn’t he have taken a few minutes to think about it?

Or better yet, asked her to tell Marina he wasn’t available?To send her away?

The disappointment she was feeling—thefear—made it hard for her to repeat Griff’s message aloud to Marina, but she did it.“He’s on his way.”

“Thank you,” Marina said.“Thank you so much.”

It would have been so much easier if Marina had been unforgivably rude to her.If she’d marched in here, demanded to speak with Griff, betrayed no insecurity.But she seemed sohuman.Except for the enormous and unforgettable fact that she had broken Griff, Becca actuallylikedher.

The door of the office swung open and Griff stepped in.Becca’s eyes went straight to his face.She couldn’t look anywhere else.

“Hey,” Marina said.

Becca had seen him look like this once before, on a dark street in the middle of the night outside the Edgewater Hotel.She’d seen the same potent mix of recognition, regret, hope, and longing.

She gripped the edge of the desk so hard her knuckles cracked.

“Hey,” Griff returned.

Becca wanted him to say something else.Anything else.She wanted him to move, to speak, to get that look off his face.

“Can we—can we talk?”Marina asked.

Please, please, please say no.Say you’re busy, you’re in the middle of a project, you have to go to Friday Night Dinner.Say she had her chance to do the right thing, you don’t need her, you don’t want her, you’re done.

Griff opened his mouth, and Becca let herself hope for one long, freighted moment.

“Sure,” he said, and the hope curled away like water spiraling down a drain.

38

Even though he’d had plenty of warning, his first sight of Marina still caught him off guard.

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