Page 7 of Holding Out

Aaand, here she goes.

“I could read your cover letters?Proof your resumes?”

“Jenina’s great with that,” Becca said, referring to her roommate, who worked in marketing.

“If you need help with choosing clothes for intervie—”

“I can choose my own clothes,” Becca said tightly.

Alia looked unconvinced.“Just make sure you don’t wear anything too revealing, right?”

“A-li-a,” Becca said.

“Sorry.Sorry!You know I worry.”

“Have a little faith in me.”

“I do.You know I do.And you know I love you like crazy.”She pulled Becca into a hug.

Becca hugged back, hard, but she wasn’t so sure about the rest.About Alia having faith in her.Alia had done more to support her than anyone else in the world, but she’d also known Becca at her worst, seen her struggle and flail and fall apart more than anyone else ever had.She was pretty sure that in Alia’s eyes, Becca was still closer to twelve years old than twenty-four.

“Hey.”

Alia’s expression was serious, and Becca wondered if she, too, had been thinking about their childhood.

“Robbie and I drove to Portland and saw Mom on Tuesday.”

That would be a yes.

“She looked good.She said her medications were still making her really tired—”

“Li—”

“Okay,” Alia said.“I’ll shut up.But—she asked about you.She’d love to see you, you know.”

Becca shook her head.

“I guess it’s just nice to see her doing better, and it’s helpful for me to, I don’t know, start fresh with her.I thought maybe if you saw her now, some of your anger—”

“I’m not mad at her.None of it was her fault—she couldn’t help being sick.I just don’t want to put myself in a position to be—” Becca stopped.

Alia’s eyes were sympathetic.“Hurt.Disappointed.”

“Exactly.Can we not talk about this?”

Alia sighed.“I just think—”

Becca raised an eyebrow.“You said you’d shut up.”

That made Alia smile.“I did, didn’t I?”She gave Becca another hug, then leaned heavily on the kitchen counter.“God, I’m so stinking tired.I feel like that kid is sucking my life force out of me.Bex, you’re sleeping on the pull-out.I’ll help you make it up.”

“Is everything in the linen closet?I’ll take care of it myself.”

Alia gave her a grateful look.“Oh my God, would you?I swear when you get pregnant and have a baby, I will wait on you hand and foot.”

“Ha!”Becca said.“I would like to see that.”

Alia went upstairs, her footsteps heavy.

---