Page 58 of Holding Out

Nate jabbed a finger in Griff’s direction.“You know what Becca learned from her childhood?That she wasn’t worth getting out of bed for.”

“Whoa.If Becca’s mom had depression, it wasn’t like shechosenot to get out of bed for Becca—”

Nate’s expression softened.“Of course not.But from Becca’s perspective as a kid?How it must havefelt?”

“She had Alia, though—”

Nate nodded at that, but then his eyes grew dark again.“You know about Becca’s high school boyfriend?The one who she waited for for three years and then he—” His face twisted.

“Yeah.I know that story.”

Nate’s expression said that if Griff wanted someone to help him rend that guy limb from limb, Nate would be ready, willing, and able.

“That guy taught Becca was that she wasn’t worth waiting for.”

Hearing Nate put it in such bald terms made the ache in Griff’s stomach spread up into his chest.He was no stranger to that experience.“And when you dumped her, you taught her that her sister was worth more than she was?”

To Griff’s surprise, Nate didn’t snap right back at him.He took a deep breath.And then he said, “I may feel some sense of responsibility for her shitty self-esteem,yes.”

They blinked at each other for a moment.Then Griff nodded.“Okay,” he said.

Nate rubbed a hand over his chest, sighed.“But seriously, tell me it’s not true?That she sees herself through that lens, of never being worth the effort?”

“She knows that’s not true—”

Nate waved it off.“She may know intellectually, but trust me, she doesn’t pit-of-her-gut know.”

Griff’s insides twisted tighter with the knowledge that Nate was probably right.Like Becca’s belief that she was stupid, this one could easily be buried where it was hardest to dig out.

Nate sighed.“Look.I need you to understand why Alia and I sharpen our knives when someone messes with Becca.The last, very last, thing either of us wants is for someone else to teach Becca a lesson about what she’snotworth.And you’re in the perfect position to do exactly that.”

Jesus, was that true?

“You know she wants it all, right?White wedding, two-point-five-kids or however many it is these days.She was ready to sign on at seventeen with that high school asshole of hers.And you?You live in what’s basically a dorm room and your shit is still in Marina’s basement because in your heart of hearts, you’re still hoping she’s going to get sick of her new boyfriend and come back to you.”

Griff opened his mouth to deny it, but when it came down to it, maybe Nate was right.Maybe he had left his stuff there in part to stake that slim, pathetic claim on Marina’s territory.Maybe he’d deleted that email a couple of weeks back because he hadn’t been ready to give up, not completely.He’d still been hoping.For another chance.A chance to prove hecouldmake Marina happy.

“Tell me it’s not true, Griff.Tell me it’s not true, that you could see yourself marrying Becca and living happily ever after, and I’ll change my tune.”

What Griff saw, though, when he closed his eyes, was not Becca in a white dress and the two of them skipping off through green fields, hand in hand.It was himself, standing in the living room of Marina’s house holding the note she’d left on the coffee table.

He opened his eyes and found Nate watching him.

“Yeah,” Nate said grimly.“That’s what I thought.”

28

“Hey.”

Jenina stood in the doorway to Becca’s bedroom in their Seattle apartment.It was early Tuesday afternoon, four days after Becca and Griff had been caught pants down—one of them anyway—but it seemed like years had passed.

“Hey.”Becca looked up and smiled at her friend.“Missed you, hon.”

“Missed you, too.”Jenina threw her arms around Becca and the two women clung to each other.“I’m glad you had enough time to stop by after your interview.You packing more stuff?”

Becca had a suitcase open on her bed and was folding some extra t-shirts into it.“Yeah.I didn’t bring enough business casual outfits to do the temp job.”

“The interview this morning was for something full-time, right?”

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