Page 9 of Holding Out

“Will you stay in Seattle?”Alia always talked about how much she wished Becca would move closer.She said she worried about her living and working on her own way up there—that Becca would forget to pay rent or get in some kind of trouble.The way Alia talked about Becca made her out to be, well,dumbwas the wrong word, but maybeflaky, and since Griff knew Becca only a little, from family get-togethers over the last couple of years, he’d never questioned that impression.But now that he was paying attention, she seemed pretty damn competent.“How come you don’t live closer to Alia and Nate?In Portland or something?”

“We all needed a little space.”

“Oh, yeah, right.”He always forgot that there was a story there.Becca and Nate had dated before he and Alia got together.

“No, not that,” Becca said, reading his mind.“We’re all over that.Nate and I were never anything except a bad idea.But Alia was like my mom growing up, and I didn’t want her to feel like she had to keep taking care of me.For both our sakes, I wanted to be on my own for a while.”

“And that’s been good?”

“It’s been great,” Becca said.She pushed her beer mug away from her on the coffee table.

“So, what kind of job are you trying to get?”

She shrugged.“Just another reception desk job.There are plenty of salons, and there’s a lot of turnover.Me being in this position for two years was crazy long.”

That was a pretty long time—more evidence that whatever Becca was, she wasn’t flaky.She was dependable and responsible, loyal even.“Do you like it?”

She shrugged again.“It’s fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Yeah.I mean, it’s a good job for a high school grad, pays decently, consistent daytime hours, I get treated pretty well.”She hesitated.

“What?”

“It’s just—sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, you know?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.“I do.For me, it’s that I’m still here.”

“Still at R&R, you mean?”

He nodded.“I’ve tried to leave a couple times, but I always end up back in the same place.”

She tilted her head.“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Nah.Just—you look at guys like Jake, Nate, Hunter—they know what they’re doing.And I’m the odd jobs guy.Which—Look, I’m not complaining.Jake’s a great boss.But I hear you on the ‘what are you going to be when you grow up’ thing.”

“Maybe no one knows,” Becca said.“Maybe the trick is just to act like you know.That’s what I’m working on now.”

“Faking it?”

She laughed.“That sounds horrible, doesn’t it?I’m not faking it, but—I’ve sucked at the self-confidence thing until recently.Now I’m turning over a new leaf.Meet ‘New Becca.’Just like the old Becca, but doesn’t take any shit from anyone, including the voice in her head saying, ‘You can’t do this.’”

Her body language changed as soon as she said, “Meet New Becca,” her shoulders straightening, her chest rising, even her chin coming up a notch.And her eyes met his, dead on.

Her eyes were very blue, and he had trouble looking away.

HelikedNew Becca.Possibly a little too much.And he didn’t think it was just because when she rolled her shoulders back like that, her breasts tipped up appealingly and he could see the shape of her nipples through her bra and T-shirt.

Although that didn’t hurt.

What he needed to say next was, “I’d better go.I gotta get up early tomorrow morning.”

What he said instead was, “Hey.What happened with the date you were supposed to be on tonight?”

She didn’t answer.

He held up his hands, palms out.“I’m sorry.It’s none of my business.”He looked around the room for a clock, failed to find one, bulled through anyway.“I’d better go.I gotta get up early tomorrow morning.”

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