Page 78 of Holding Out

Her voice tightened and choked off the words.

“I feel so much right now, Griff.I justneedyou.I need you to be inside me so I canshowyou.”

He knew what she meant because he felt it too, at the painful thawed achy middle of his whole fucking self.It wasn’t the kind of thing you could say.You had todo.

He pulled away from her, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, dropping them, kicking them away.He tugged the nightstand drawer open, pulled out a condom and rolled it on.Now that he had abandoned his plan, he was in a hurry—he needed her like he’d never needed anything, like now that the deep freeze was gone, all the held-back life in him had to pour itself into her.

But he wouldn’t rush it.

He crawled over her, bracing himself, and kissed her.Her mouth was open, helpless, out of rhythm.Wet and hungry.He was the same way.She spread her thighs and opened to him, so his painfully hard cock slicked through her folds, long, slow, blissful strokes.If he didn’t stop, he’d come all over her belly, and he wanted to give her what she was asking for too much to do that.He wanted to be inside her, like she’d asked him.He wanted her to show him how she felt, and he wanted to show her.

“Griff,please.”

He lined himself up, grabbed the base of his shaft to hang onto his fleeing self-control, and eased in, just enough to feel her soft, slick flesh part and give way.

She made a sound so needy and primal that he almost came right then.She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, her cheek pressed against his, her breath in his ear.She raised her hips and he eased deep inside her.

“Like that, Griff, feel it?”she murmured, her arms tightening.“But even more.Give me more.”And she slid her cheek along his until their mouths caught, hot and wet.Her tongue found his and stroked, so he was in her and she was in him.

It was so good, the heat, the sweet fucking slipperyglideof her, but mostly how tight she was around him, all of her, holding him,showinghim.“God,” he said.“God, Becca—”

“I know.I know.”

She held on and held on, and he thrust, hard, and then again, giving up completely on trying to be gentle or thoughtful or any of that.

And she thrust back just as hard, lifting her hips, jamming herself against him, rubbing herself when he was in her to the hilt, tightening down on him.She was coming, he realized, suddenly, shaking in his arms, pulsing around him, whimpering, until the whimpers turned to words and the words were, “Like that, Griff, like that, likethat.”

The long pulses of her orgasm pulled his out of him, and he was coming, too, and he knewexactlywhat she meant, even if he couldn’t say it, not yet:This is what I wanted to show you, how much I like you, how goddamn much I like you—

This, baby, this is how much I love you.

36

“Hey, sleepyhead.”

Becca rose through layers of tufty cotton dream sleep to find Griff sitting on the edge of the bed with two to-go coffee cups and a bag that she prayed contained something that tasted as good as it smelled—of fried dough and sugary frosting.

He was wearing a dark green t-shirt and jeans.His hair was rumpled, as if he hadn’t bothered to comb it when he’d gotten out of bed.They’d spent the night spooned with her back to his front.Not that she’d slept a whole ton, because they’d gone three rounds and eaten a ridiculous amount of Thai food before falling asleep probably only about four hours ago.She was going to have to do a walk of shame to work today, and the thing was?She didn’t give a crap.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said.

“Hey, yourself.”

They smiled at each other.Becca felt even happier, which seemed almost impossible, because she thought she’d maxed out last night.Not that she hadn’t freaked out a little bit, after that first time.She’d come down from the crazy heights he’d taken her to, feeling a bit like some kind of wind-up toy that had been disassembled so its gears and cranks were strewn on the floor.She was pretty sure she couldn’t be put back together, not the way she’d been before.

At that moment, she’d wished for a do-over.Just so she could hold a little, tiny part of herself back.Just ...to be careful.

Sex with him in the Edgewater Hotel room had been amazing, but she had definitely kept herself at a distance.She’d known where she was and where he was and how wide the space between them was, the whole time.Even so, when he’d said Marina’s name in the street outside afterwards, she’d wanted to throw up.She could admit that to herself now.

And if that’s how vulnerable she’d feltbefore, he coulddestroyher now.He could make what Todd had done to her look like a bee sting in comparison.

What she’d also realized last night, though, was that it hardly mattered anymore, because she couldn’t stop.She couldn’t stop wanting him, and she wasn’t going to stop being with him until he wanted to stop being with her.Worst—or best—of all, she couldn’t stop loving him, which, she was pretty sure, was the feeling that had broken her apart when he’d made love to her, and the thing that made it feel like her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest.

Hehadto be feeling it, too.The way he’d looked at her across the table in the study booth, what he’d said about not wanting her to go.Telling her he wanted tomake loveto her.

The way he was looking at her now, like she was the best thing ever, as opposed to ratty-haired and raccoon-eyed from not taking off her makeup.

So that was what she was going to hold on to, for now.If she gave this thing between them some space—and the rest of the time they had left together—everything would work itself out.Somehow.

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