Page 51 of Holding Out

He was wrecked enough that his brain was wiped blank.It had been a long time since he’d come that hard with only a hand on him.He got up and went to the bathroom, mostly to clean up but also because it bought him a little time to think.He sorted himself out, zipped up, washed and dried his hands, then stood staring in the mirror.His pupils were still huge, his eyes glazed, his cheeks ruddy.And the thing was, he wanted to fuck her.He’d just come and he wanted to fuck heras soon as possible.

That wasn’t going to happen in Alia and Nate’s house, but it was pretty clear to him that it was going to happen.Again.And maybe again and again.

The jazzed-up feeling in his chest was split betweenBring itandWhat the fuck am I doing?

He went back into the living room and sat in the armchair, just to give them enough distance to have an actual conversation.

She rubbed her fingertips over her cheekbones.“Maybe I’m out of line in saying this but it seems like we’re not actuallydone.”

She was glazed and pink, too, and it looked a hell of a lot better on her.Her mouth was tipped up at both corners, like she was trying really hard not to smile.And he wanted to lunge out of his chair and kiss that smile right off her face.

But she had a damn good point, and they needed to talk.

“You’re not out of line.”

She nodded, just one small, tight acknowledgment.“But it doesn’t have to be a big deal, either.I know you don’t do relationships, and that’s fine.I’m here for two weeks and then I’m going back to Seattle.So this is just temporary.Time-limited.Right?”

Two weeks.Time-limited.Perfect.Right?

Why was he having so much trouble answering a simple question?She’d obviously killed thousands of brain cells with that hand job.“Right.”

“What if we just say we’re going to—whatever this is, fool around, fuck—”

The sound of that word on her lips made his cock jump.

“—until I have to go back to Seattle, and then we’ll call it.And we can stick with the original rule thatthere is no Operation V-Card—I think the lastthing either of us wants is for Nate or Alia to catch wind of this.”

That was true.So why did the secrecy thing suddenly feel a little uncomfortable?

Probably because if Alia knew what he and Becca had just done on the couch, she’d make him pay the upholstery cleaning bill.

He pointed a finger at her.“And it’s exclusive.For the next two weeks.”

Where the fuck had that come from?Maybe from the same primitive part of him that had wanted to kill CJ for making a pass at her.

She raised an eyebrow.“Okay.I think that rule mostly pertains to you.Hard to imagine, but there aren’t thousands of suitors currently beating down my door for a chance at me.Unless you count CJ.”

“You underestimate yourself,” he said irritably.“You can do way better than CJ.And on another topic, you could totally help Jed.Stop selling yourself short.”

Her mouth fell open.

He wanted to reel the words back in.They hadn’t come out at all the way he’d heard them in his head.“I’m sorry.That came out harsher than I meant it to.”

She closed her mouth and wrapped her arms around herself.For a moment, he thought he’d really made her mad.Then she said, “You’re not wrong.About the selling myself short thing.I told you I’m turning over a new leaf, right?I’m trying not to do that anymore, but old habits die hard.”She gave herself a hug.The smile was gone and the wrinkle between her brows had reappeared.“That said, I have to disagree with you on the Jed thing.I barely graduated high school.I don’t have any experience with kids aside from Robbie, and the damage I do to him is the usual aunt stuff like embarrassing him in front of future girlfriends.”

She got a faraway look on her face.

“Alia was an honors student.In, like, everything.I, on the other hand, had learning disabilities that took a long time for anyone to catch and diagnose.One teacher asked me straight out, in all seriousness, if Alia and I were actually related because—and I quote—‘your sister has such a brilliant mind.’”

Griff winced.

“Right?And I think that woman is still teaching at our old high school.”She frowned.“After the school figured out what was going on with me, they made accommodations, but I didn’t suddenly thrive.I stayed in the lowest track, with kids whose desire to learn had been shit-kicked out of them at some point.A few of them were working hard, like me, but most of them had just given up.Those classes—they were where learning went to die.And I just felt like, I was killing myself—going to tutors, trying my hardest—and Istillcouldn’t keep up with my peers.I still couldn’t get Bs, or even Cs most of the time.I figured I must be really—”

She didn’t say it, but she didn’t have to for him to hear the word in the room.

Stupid.

“You’renotstupid,” he said.“You’re smart, and funny—like how good you were at Taboo.That’s intuition, and being able to read and interact with people.The stuff that will actually help you in the world.”

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