Page 30 of Holding Out

“I didn’t know that.I’m sorry.”

She made ano big dealgesture, the same one she’d made when she’d waved off the failed date the other night.He was about as convinced of her unconcern this time as he had been then.

“But you had Li and your mom.”

“Well, I had Li.”

He raised an eyebrow.

She looked down at the table and twisted one hand in the other.“My dad was retired FBI, and after he died, there was enough money from that and his life insurance that we were okay financially, but my mom fell apart.She just withdrew into herself.She didn’t really have a diagnosis and we were too young to know it was depression.Li basically did everything.She had to grow up really fast.She was essentially full-time momming by the time she was ten.When a lot of kids still believed in Santa Claus, Li was buying her own Christmas presents.”

She raised her gaze and caught him wincing.Her story explained a lot about Alia and her hyper capable schtick.

“And you?What was it like for you growing up?”She tilted her head.

“My dad wasn’t around either.He left when I was eight.Married again, had a second family.Three adorable little girls—not so little anymore, obviously—who he dotes on.My mom never remarried.I think my dad was the love of her life—she just wasn’t the love of his.”

She winced.“No wonder you’re not so interested in marriage and commitment.”

He shrugged.“No—I thought Iwantedto settle down, when I was a kid.I wanted what my dad had with his second wife.But you know, kids, they think they have it all figured out.It wasn’t in the cards for me, and I’m good with that now.”

“It sounds like there’s a story there.”

Griff shook his head.“Yeah, of course, there’s always a story.”The last thing he wanted was to tell it right now, cast a pall over things and let her know what a pathetic wreck he’d been when Marina had left.“Maybe some other time.The gist is, you’re right about me.I’m not interested in that stuff.At least not anymore.”

The waiter saved Griff by showing up with their soup and salad.Becca’s salad featured what he and Nate called “spiky” lettuce, plus candied nuts and goat cheese—definitely not his thing—but she dug into it and made a humming sound that found its way to his dick.She was so intent on the salad that he could watch her eat, which—damn.Neat, delicate, but fully invested, her eyes widening when she liked something, so he practically got a vicarious taste of all the flavors.She looked up and caught him staring, cocked her head to one side like she was asking a question.

He shrugged.“It’s hot.The way you eat.”

She laughed.“How do I eat?”

“You get into it.You enjoy it.”

“Yeah.I freakinglovefood.It’s probably my favorite thing.”She dove back in, deftly spearing a pecan and humming again.

Yeah.Who didn’t love food?But truth?Right now, Griff wanted to dig into the woman sitting across the table and savor every bite.If watching her eat a salad was making him drool, he couldn’t imagine what would happen when she sank her teeth into a piece of meat.

14

Okay.Now she got it.The dinner-as-foreplay thing.

Griff took his credit card from the leather portfolio and tucked it into his wallet.He’d taken the bill from the waiter and relentlessly refused her offers to split it or chip in.

She wasn’t opposed to paying her own way, but Griff made it easy—and sexy—for her to back down and let him handle it.

It was the same way he’d been about the wine.Zero bullshit but also so, so competent.It was obvious he was ill-at-ease with the whole ridiculously expensive wine list thing.But he’d handled it perfectly.He hadn’t starting posturing, but he also hadn’t acted intimidated.What he’d said, about wanting to be a guy who made everyone comfortable when he grew up?That was already him, in a nutshell.

And it was unbelievably hot.

Then there was the way he’d been watching her eat, before she’d caught him.If it had been anyone else, it might have been creepy, but there was nothing creepy about having Griff’s attention on her mouth.Plus, she got it when she’d watchedhimwith his clam chowder.He took the first bite and said, “God.Good,” and made a rough noise of approval.Sort of like a hum or a groan.A noise she’d want to hear him make after he slid down her body and—

It had gone on like that through the main course, too.But what else could you expect from a guy who made turning the key in the ignition sexy?

Dinner hadn’t been all dark looks and food flirting, either.They’d talked about her salon job and her relationship with Alia, then about his siblings and what had brought him to R&R.He said it had been pain from a serious knee injury—but she thought there was probably more to that story, too.Obviously, Griff didn’t love to talk about himself.Which was actually way better than the alternative.She’d been out with mansplainers who couldn’t shut up about their jobs, their cars, their doctoral dissertations, whatever.But Griff’s restraint made her want to probe.Find out the whole story.

Except that was something you’d do if you were getting to know someone.If you were going to have a relationship with someone.And she was not.He’d made that abundantly clear:You’re right about me.I’m not interested in that stuff.Meaning commitment, marriage, family, kids.

She’d made that one misstep, reaching for his hand after he’d been so great about the wine.She’d pulled back right away.Touching him like that had been too familiar, the kind of thing you’d do on a first date but wouldn’t do on whatever this was.Foreplay for First Rites of Pleasure.

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