Page 77 of Head Over Heels

My mind wanders back to that day when Liv and Katie and I played make-believe together. How hard I laughed when Liv insisted frogs didn’t talk. The expression on Liv’s face when Katie informed her that she was the ugly, ugly frog. Liv’s mini-lecture on inner beauty. The moment Liv and I locked eyes and pretended to fall madly in love.

“Chase? Do we have any more questions for Gillian?”

I wrench my attention back to the present moment.

“Um, no, I think we’re all set.”

Liv shoots me a puzzled glance. “Okay, then,” she says. “Guess that’s it for now. We’ll be in touch about asking you to come meet Katie, right, Chase?”

“Um, yeah. We’ll—I’ll—be in touch about next steps. Thanks for coming by, Gillian. We’re—I’m—very impressed by what you bring professionally.”

We walk her to the door.

As soon as she’s gone, Liv turns on me, face screwed up with confusion. “What wasthatabout? You sounded like a robot. Don’t you like her?”

“I like her fine.”

“So why were you such a dick to her?”

“I wasn’t a dick. I just—”

I don’t want you to go.

Don’t go.

“I can’t believe you’re so cavalier about leaving her.”

That wasn’t what I meant to say. Not at all. But the words kind of popped out. I know I meant,I can’t believe you’re so cavalier about leaving us.

I know I really meant,I can’t believe you’re so cavalier about leavingme.

She gets a look on her face like she’s been slapped. “You think this is easy for me? No way. It’s really hard. I love Katie. I don’t want to leave her. But you knew all along that’s what was going to happen. Don’t make me feel guilty about it now. I’m trying to make it as easy for you guys as possible. And I don’toweyou anything here, Chase. I did this as a favor to you. You wanted me to watch her. You could have hired someone else and eliminated this whole transition, but you asked me to step in. So cut the crap.”

She’s mad. Really mad. And of course, she’s 100 percent right. I have no right to be mad at her this way. Especially not when I know who I’m really mad at, and what I’m really mad about.

She crosses her arms. “YouknewI was going to leave.”

She’s fired up—cheeks pink, eyes sparkling, breath coming fast. And I shouldn’t be thinking about the other times when she looks like that, but she’s reprogrammed my brain and body to want her. Need her. All the time. I can’t ignore those feelings.

Iwon’tignore those feelings.

“I did. But things have changed.” I take a deep breath. “I want you to stay.”

Chapter 41

Liv

He wants me to stay.

He wants me to stay.

“You want me to stay…” I ask cautiously, “…for Katie’s sake?”

He shakes his head. “For my sake. Because of this thing between us. That neither of us was planning on or counting on, but Liv, you know it’s happening, right? I mean, this is real. I don’t know what it is yet, but I don’t want you to walk away.”

I don’t want you to walk away.

There’s a swelling sensation dead center of my chest, a buoyancy, and for a moment I ride it.

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