Page 113 of Only and Forever

Sighing heavily, I drop back onto the plastic storage bin, accepting the black stuffed animal cat Seb’s been hugging. I hug it to my chest. Axel steps up beside me and squeezes my shoulder.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” I whisper.

Gavin clears his throat, then stands and offers me a tissue, a firm squeeze of my other shoulder. “Start at the beginning. We’re listening.”

I take a breath, straighten up, and tell them everything. Our early morning conversation over coffee last year. That first night at the bookstore. Our cohabitating and skills-swap plan. The promise we made each other to be brave, to explore what we could share, when we realized how much we wanted each other, how differently we saw wanting. Working together, at the store, on her book. Walking the dogs, cuddling the cats. Coaching soccer. Living life. Falling for each other.

So I hoped.

When I’m finally done, I peer up to find every one of their gazes on me, full of concern and compassion. Ren dabs his eyes. Oliver sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

“And that, my brothers, is my sob story. I fell in love with someone who doesn’t even believe in it, who said she’d try to be... open to it, who made me feel...” I shut my eyes, tears spilling again. “So fucking much. Last night, we...” I shake my head. “It meant somuch to me, and I think I fucked it up. Then I woke up to her gone.”

“So go find her,” Ryder says.

Oliver massages the bridge of his nose. “Still not helping.”

“No.” Ryder stands. “I’m right. Listen, I know I wasn’t very sensitive when we came down here, saying I hadn’t had a Bergman Brothers Summit, but that’s not because I couldn’t have used one. I kept my pain to myself, shielded the family from what I was going through with Willa, how badly I loved her and how hard I was struggling, with her fear of my love and of her love for me.”

Ryder’s eyes meet mine. He drops on the storage bin beside me. It creaks ominously under our combined weight. “I wish I’d told you all. I wish I’d asked for help.” He sets a hand on my back. “And I’m proud of you for opening up to us, even if it is a little late in the game. I’m sorry you’ve been carrying this all by yourself. I know how hard that is.”

I bury my face in my hands again. “I was proud and scared and stubborn. I told myself I could wait while she figured it out; told myself I had stuff to figure out, too.”

“So you kept it in,” Axel says quietly. “I know something about that. How isolated it makes you feel, thinking you’re alone in how you’re hurting.”

“But you aren’t alone.” Seb sets an arm on my shoulder, squeezing hard. “We’re here for you. And I believe Tallulah is, too.”

I wipe my nose as I meet his eyes. “You do?”

He nods, smiling softly. “I recognize a fellow thoroughly besotted scaredy-cat when I see one. She adores you, Viggo. She said it with every glance at you last night, every time you said her name, every not-so-subtle touch you snuck in. Trust her. There’s a reason she’s been gone this morning.”

“I think he’s right.” Ren nods encouragingly. “Give her a chance. Don’t give up on her or on what you want to share with her.”

“Come on.” Aiden grips me by the arm, tugging me upright. He reaches for my hair, trying to fix it.

I duck reflexively. “What are you doing?”

“Making you look presentable.” He frowns. “Or trying to.”

“Now.” Ryder slaps a hand on my back, pointing to the stairs. “Go find Tallulah. Tell her how you feel. You deserve to be honest with your heart, Viggo. And she deserves the chance to be honest with her heart, too.”

I glance around at my brothers, a glimmer of hope flickering in my heart. “Okay, I will.”

They all smile. I smile back, but it falters, fear rushing through me. “But first, could I just have a—”

Gavin throws his arms around me.

“Hug,” I whisper.

Axel steps up next, his hand heavy on my back. Ryder, then Ren, circle around me, then Seb and Aiden, and finally Oliver, who clasps my neck.

“Love you guys,” I whisper.

“We love you,” they tell me, loud and strong, and that strength, that truth, pours through me, fills me up, gives me the courage to pull back and stand tall.

Oliver’s eyes meet mine as he smiles. “Now, get the hell out of here.”

—

---