Page 86 of Sin and Redemption

Winter had the woods in its iron grip when we went to Maximus’s parents for the weekend in early December.

Since I’d entered the second trimester, my nausea had subsided, but now sleeplessness bothered me.

And when I slept, I always lived through vivid dreams. I woke from another of those and sat up tiredly. I’d dreamed about my last pregnancy, about the baby I’d lost. It had almost felt like a message from her. I was sure it had been a girl, just like this baby in my belly right now. Maximus didn’t believe in these things, but I simply felt like I needed to go to the old oak. This felt like a monumental step toward letting go of some of my fears from my missed abort.

I crept out of bed, careful not to wake Maximus. He had worked the night shift and helped his father in the shelter during the day, so he had passed out from exhaustion.

When I stepped out into the hallway, Bacon jumped up. He always slept in front of our door when we spent the night here. I briefly patted his head when he nudged me with his nose. He and I had built a tentative bond since I spent more time here.

He followed me when I went downstairs and grabbed some of the warm clothes I kept in the house. The past few nights had been below the freezing point. The four pit bulls slept in the kitchen and living area and only briefly perked up when I walked past them. A cold gust of wind hit me when I opened the front door. It had snowed, and the moonlight illuminated the snow-covered surroundings. It was beautiful and peaceful. Just what I craved. The sounds from the cities and the craziness of our world seemed so far away.

I slipped out and tried to close the door, but Bacon squeezed out before I could. I pointed inside. “Go back in.” He stayed by my side, staring off toward the tree line. “Go.”

It was obvious he wouldn’t listen to me. Oh well. Maybe it wasn’t the worst idea to have him out here in case a coyote came by. Snow crunched under my winter boots as I walked down the steps and headed down the pathway to the edge of the woods. The dogs in the shelters, most of them were inside their big huts anyway, only watched me with silent, observant eyes. They no longer perceived me as a stranger and definitely not a threat.

Bacon trotted past me and took up my front as I followed the narrow path through the woods to the oak tree. Every time I saw the cross that Maximus had carved, my heart warmed and broke at the same time. The pain of this loss wasn’t as acute as it used to be, and its place had taken the fear of losing the baby in my belly. Frost glittered on the cross. My first instinct was to wipe it away as I sank into the snow in front of it, but it looked so beautiful that I decided to leave it be. I only briefly touched my fingertips to the cold ground and closed my eyes. Baby girl moved in my belly, making me smile. Luckily, she was an active baby, and whenever she had days of rest, I poked my belly until she woke again, just to assure me that she was healthy and alive.

I touched my belly with one hand while my other remained on the frozen ground. I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t before. Maybe this was the moment the past could finally rest.

A deep, threatening rumble came from Bacon. I jumped, having completely forgotten that he was here. When I shone the flashlight on him, I could see how every impressive muscle in his body was tautened as he stared off into the dark. Another low rumble sounded, and he bared his teeth for a snarl. I pushed to my feet, wondering if these woods harbored bigger threats than coyotes? What about bears? Or mountain lions. Maximus had never mentioned either.

“Bacon?” I whispered, seeking shelter behind the oak tree. I shone the light on the spot where Bacon was looking but saw nothing but trees, their frost-covered branches glittering in the beam of my flashlight. Beyond the light cone, the gnarly trees and shrubs appeared menacing. I listened for any sounds, but I couldn’t make out anything except for Bacon’s growls, which grew in volume. My own breathing echoed in my ears.

“Bacon?”

He jumped forward, then snarled again as if he was about to attack the shadows at any moment. Fear grabbed me.

And then I heard a twig break. Bacon stormed into the darkness. A shot rang out. Bears didn’t shoot weapons.

Maybe it was Maximus or Growl looking for me? “Maximus?” I called.

No answer. Instead another shot, but not at me.

I froze for a moment, terrified, but then I shook out of my reverie and began to move away from the oak tree. I tried to be quiet, but my heavy boots and my lacking sense of balance due to my belly made it difficult.

I wanted to call for Bacon, but what if that alerted whoever was out here to my whereabouts? I had been stupid to scream Maximus’s name and had to hope I could hide quickly.

Oh, Bacon.

A scream sounded, angry shouts in Russian, then more shots and furious snarls. I started running, holding my belly with one hand to protect my baby. I hadn’t heard Russian in a long time, not since the capture, and the sound increased my terror. The flashlight gave me away, but I wasn’t sure I could find my way back to the house without it. Steps scrunched somewhere to my left. I tossed the flashlight away and tried to get my bearings with just the moonlight to guide me.

My heart pounded in my chest from exertion and fear. I could barely breathe.

Shots rang out again. Were they aiming at me? Or still trying to kill poor Bacon?

I tried to run faster, but my belly made it difficult. Why did I have to come out here tonight? Was peace of mind really worth it? What if my baby got hurt?

Steps sounded behind me, coming closer and closer. I braced myself for an attack, but instead, Bacon dashed past me. Part of his fur was dark. I could only assume it was blood. I hoped it wasn’t his own. He limped slightly, but he stayed close to me. My bodyguard.

But now new steps came up behind us. Still distant but catching up.

I bit my lip, forcing myself to go faster even as my muscles spasmed.

A tall figure stormed my way from the right. I hoped Bacon would take him down, even if the poor guy was already injured from protecting me.

The impact didn’t come. Instead, strong arms engulfed me in a warm embrace. “Sara, what the hell are you doing out here?”

“There are Russians following me,” I pressed out, then gasped for breath. Relief washed through my body like a wave.

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