Page 79 of Sin and Redemption

During the past few months of trying to get Sara pregnant, I wasn’t sure what I’d feel if she finally got a positive test. With the last pregnancy, I’d only felt shock and a huge sense of responsibility.

The latter was present now too, but besides relief, I also felt happiness and excitement. Having a family had become something tangible with Sara by my side. I knew she’d be a wonderful mother, and our home would be filled with love.

I tensed, regarding Sara as she took a sip from her water, lost in thoughts. My feelings for Sara had grown in the last six months. Before that, I had never allowed myself to build a real connection with her since our whole marriage had been too taut with tension.

Sara finally noticed my staring and reached for my hand on the tabletop, giving me a small smile. “Is everything okay?”

I turned my hand around and wrapped my fingers around hers. Seeing her wedding ring still made me happy. “I was just thinking about how far we’ve come.”

Her smile brightened. “We put the work in, and it’s paying off.”

In the beginning it had felt like work. We both had to force ourselves to meet every evening and watch a movie together, to seek each other’s closeness, to share a bed and be intimate, but now all these things came naturally.

I nodded. “I’m proud of us. And really happy.”

“Me too,” she whispered.

“Let’s go into the living room and watch a movie. I’m too wired to go to bed now.”

“Sounds good.” She got up, and I stepped up to her side, gently touching her back to guide her toward the sofa. Because of our past, I’d always felt very protective of Sara, but I could tell this would reach a new dimension now that she was pregnant.

She gave me an amused look. “I’m not incapacitated.”

I chuckled. “I want to do everything right this time. You are my pregnant wife, and I’ll make sure you have every comfort you need.” We sank down on the couch. I didn’t leave any room between us. I wanted Sara close. She was pregnant with our child. I never wanted her out of my sight if possible.

She regarded me curiously, then relaxed against my shoulder. “I didn’t expect you to be this happy. I didn’t dare to hope for it.”

“But I am. I wasn’t sure what I’d feel before, but I’m excited. I can’t wait to show a boy how to carve and split wood, throw an axe, and read animal tracks in the woods.”

“And what if it’s a girl?” Sara asked with raised eyebrows.

I half hoped it wasn’t. Not because I needed an heir or thought girls were less precious, but a girl was someone else to protect, to keep away from the horrors of our world. With a boy, there was no use in even trying. He belonged to the Famiglia the second he was born.

“I’ll protect her until the day I die.”

Sara put her hand on mine, which rested on my leg. I turned my hand around and curled my fingers around hers like I had done before. “You can teach her how to read animal tracks and how to carve. You can even show her how to throw an axe. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she can’t do these things.”

“You don’t like to do them.”

Sara shrugged. “Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean she won’t.”

“Then I’ll teach her all these things.”

Sara looked pleased, but I could see a hint of melancholy in her eyes. “I don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy. I just want a healthy baby to hold and to love. That’s all I want, all I pray for.”

I cupped her cheek with my free hand, my eyes burning into hers. “You’ll get it.”

I pressed a kiss to her lips, trying to send her some of my utter resolve. The tears in Sara’s eyes made me feel even more protective. Sara deserved everything she wanted and more. I hoped she’d never have to encounter heartache again.

Sara swallowed and motioned at the TV. “Let’s watch something. I know I’m being too emotional.”

I rubbed her arm. “I can handle your emotions and want you to share them with me.”

Sara squeezed my hand.

“When should we tell our families?” I asked after a moment. I hadn’t talked about it with Dad. He and I weren’t the type to discuss these things, but Mom knew that Sara and I were trying to have a baby. She’d be ecstatic to hear the news.

Sara flushed and looked away. “I…”

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