Page 50 of Sin and Redemption

I narrowed my eyes at him. He held up his hands. “And my cousin.”

“Sara’s gorgeous; that’s not the fucking problem.”

“Then what is? If Sara wants to make a baby the old-fashioned way, that’s good, right? You haven’t had a sex life yet, right?”

I gritted my teeth. “No. Fuck.” I stared down and took a deep breath, then told him in very basic terms what had happened tonight.

Amo blew out a breath. “Fuck. That’s a shitty situation.”

Shitty didn’t even begin to cover it. Just thinking about it made me want to wreak utter destruction around me.

“Maybe I should ask her for a divorce. That way, she could start new with a guy who doesn’t remind her of one of the worst days of her life. But I can’t. I just can’t. Even if our marriage is far from good, even if things are hard, I don’t want to give her up.” I chuckled bitterly. Every time I saw my ring on Sara’s finger or heard her say my last name as hers, I felt possessive, even proud that I could call a woman like her my own. I was so fucked up. “See how fucked I am?”

“She’s your wife. Of course, you don’t want anyone else to be with her. You’re not a saint. None of us are.”

“I’m not sure I can do this again if I didn’t get her pregnant this time. I can torture whoever lies on my table, but I can’t do this.”

“You’re human.”

I laughed. “Fuck, I wish I wasn’t. I wish I could be as emotionless as I am while on the job. But Sara…”

“Talk to her.”

“That’s not my forte.”

“Neither mine,” Amo said with a pressed-out laugh. “But this situation is fucking you up. You need to change something.”

“I just hope I got her pregnant tonight.”

Amo looked doubtful. “Even if that’s the case, you’re married, and you’ll be parents someday. Don’t you think it would be good if you actually tried to be a couple too?”

“Let’s just go kill someone. I need to vent. I need blood.”

“I’m sure we can find someone.”

The sun hadn’t even risen yet, and I was hardly awake, but I got up on the morning after I hadn’t gotten my period and did a pregnancy test. I paced the bathroom as I waited for the results. I could hear Maximus getting up and grabbing a shower down the hall. Our interactions since our intimate encounter had been sparse… I felt like he resented me for wanting a child. I didn’t like to recall our last sexual encounter. Maybe that was why he was so angry too. I knew I needed to talk to him and salvage our marriage somehow, but I wasn’t sure I had it in me to take on this battle right now.

When the ten minutes had passed, I picked up the test. Holding my breath, I risked a peek. The air left my lungs in a tight whoosh. Only one line.

I couldn’t believe it. I’d felt different these past few days, and I hadn’t gotten my period, so why wasn’t there a second line?

I took two more tests—one digital and one like the one I’d already done. Ten minutes later, tears filled my eyes when both of them confirmed the first test’s result.

Not pregnant.

They were supposedly 99 percent accurate.

I called my doctor and asked to come in today. As usual, she accommodated me right away. I had an hour to get ready. I took a quick shower, then hurried into the kitchen to grab a coffee. Maximus leaned against the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee. His gaze was far away even though he stared straight at the fridge. He wore jeans and a tight T-shirt, his usual work outfit. He snapped out of whatever memory he had been caught up in and scanned my face, his expression tightening with concern. “What’s wrong?” He grabbed a long-sleeved black shirt that hung over the backrest of a kitchen chair and began to pull it over his head. His shirt rode up, revealing a sliver of his six-pack and the hint of a tattoo—a meadow and tree trunks.

“Oh nothing. I just need to leave for a doctor’s appointment in fifteen minutes.”

He paused with one arm inside the shirtsleeve, worry filling his face. “You didn’t tell me you needed to see a doctor. Do you need me to come with you?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

He froze in his tracks. “Are you pregnant?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m going,” I lied. Deep down, I knew the doctor would only confirm the bad news, but I couldn’t admit it to Maximus.

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