Page 48 of Sin and Redemption

“It won’t be. Please don’t draw it out. Can’t you just do it like last time?”

He pushed away and turned his back on me. His shoulder muscles flexed. “Like last time?” His voice shook with anger.

“I don’t mean it like that… I just mean…can you make it quick?”

He chuckled. “I might need a moment to get it up.”

“I’ll wait.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, didn’t even move. Was he trying to get in a mental state to get an erection? Was he thinking of other girls? Now that I knew that he wasn’t sleeping with other girls, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. A sort of relief that surprised me, definitely, but also a hint of guilt.

He pushed to his feet and shoved down his sweatpants and boxers. My eyes widened when I saw his round ass. He sat back down, and his arm began moving. It took me a moment to realize what he was doing. I quickly looked away and up at the ceiling. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it seemed to take forever before Maximus finally climbed up on the bed on all fours.

“Are you sure?” he asked in a low voice.

I glanced at his face. It was sweaty and red, and the look in his eyes was hard as steel. My belly tightened. “Yes.” He slowly pushed my legs apart and climbed between them.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

I could feel him shift until his presence hovered above me. My nightgown was still covering me.

“I can turn the lights off if it helps,” he muttered. He sounded absolutely mad. Was he angry that I made him do it? Maybe he really didn’t want kids, but my wish for them was simply too great to retreat.

“Yes.”

I opened my eyes and was greeted by near blackness. Only the outline of Maximus was above me.

“Can you do it now?”

“I can. But it’ll hurt, Sara. I don’t think—”

“Just do it.”

He pushed my nightgown up, then I felt him press up against me. He was slick with some sort of lubricant that he must have put on. I tensed up like last time.

“You need to relax,” he implored.

“I can’t. Just do it, dammit. You owe it to me!” Despair and fear threatened to swallow me up.

“I owe you more than that,” he said quietly, then he shifted and pushed into me. He was slow and careful. I pressed my lips together. The pain was intense, almost as bad as last time. Images threatened to push forward—Jabba’s leering face, the camera filming everything, the third man touching himself because seeing Maximus take me turned him on.

A sob slipped out.

“Fuck it!” he snarled. “I’m not doing this.”

I gripped his bicep, sinking my nails into his skin. “No. I’ll be silent. Just make me a baby.”

He didn’t say anything, only breathed harshly, but then he began to move, harder and faster than before.

I closed my eyes. It took longer than I’d hoped, so when Maximus tensed up, and I felt his release, I could have cried in relief. He sagged down and buried his face in the pillow beside my head.

I stayed motionless beneath him for a while, not wanting to chase him away right away, but eventually, he got too heavy. “Can you move?”

He pushed off me and got up right away. Even in the darkness, I could see him gather his clothes from the floor before he moved to the door.

I almost called out for him to stay but didn’t. I wasn’t sure I could bear his closeness now. Sometimes I wished we were more than just married on paper. Sometimes I wondered how it would be to fall asleep beside him and to be in his arms, to be kissed.

I touched my belly and raised my hips. I’d read the latter would increase the chances of getting pregnant. Maybe it was superstition, but I needed to make sure this worked. Maximus stepped out into the corridor and began to close the door.

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