Page 66 of Sin and Redemption

I nodded. The sun was setting on the horizon. Soon, it was getting cold despite the fire.

Maximus rose to his feet and went back to the mansion, only to return with three blankets shortly after. He draped one over my legs.

“Thank you.”

Then he handed one to Greta before he sank down in his chair and covered his legs with the last blanket.

“Hey, what about me?” Amo asked with raised eyebrows.

“Greta has a blanket, and you have Greta,” Maximus said pointedly.

I stifled laughter.

Amo leaned back with a challenging look. “You could use your wife as a source of warmth too.”

I flushed. Greta turned to Amo and gave him a questioning look. Gathering my courage, I got up. Maximus’s alarmed expression told me he thought I was about to leave. I was sensitive, but not that bad. “I wouldn’t mind some additional warmth.”

Maximus’s expression morphed to confusion, then surprise. He raised the blanket, and I sank down on his lap. I leaned slightly against his back and tugged my legs up. It felt good but mostly strange and awkward, especially because Greta and Amo were watching us. It wasn’t as physically uncomfortable as I thought. Maximus was broad and tall, so he could easily accommodate me, but his hard muscles didn’t really invite snuggling. Maximus covered us with his blanket. Silence fell over us as we drank more wine and ate marshmallows and wieners.

Eventually, I grew tired. When I had my period, I always needed more sleep.

“I’ll go to bed if you don’t mind,” I said quietly and climbed off his lap. Maximus rose to his feet as well.

“You don’t have to come.”

“I won’t let you go by yourself,” Maximus said.

“The premises are highly guarded. Nobody comes in without us knowing,” Amo said.

Maximus scowled at him. Greta had fallen asleep on his lap and was curled up like a cat against him. “I won’t risk anything. She won’t be alone in the house. Or would you leave Greta without protection ever again?”

Darkness passed Amo’s face. He nodded, and a look of understanding passed between him and Maximus. They had both failed to protect someone in their eyes. Our situations were different, but I supposed their guilt was the same.

I understood guilt and how irrational it could be

“Let’s go,” Maximus rumbled as he turned back to me. He lightly touched my back as we walked to the house. When we moved up the stairs, I remembered that we wouldn’t split up like we usually did. Tonight, we’d share a bed for the first time.

Nerves made my belly cramp. It was funny that I was nervous about something as mundane as sleeping in the same bed when we’d already had sex.

I headed to the en suite bathroom right away to get changed, hoping to calm myself that way. Our relationship had been at an absolute standstill for a long time, but suddenly, it was progressing quickly, and sometimes it was difficult for my brain to catch up.

When I’d packed my bag, I hadn’t considered that someone would see me in my pajamas. I wasn’t someone who walked around the house in their pj’s when I shared it with people I didn’t know that well yet—like Amo and Greta. I could probably have included Maximus too, even if our interactions grew more frequent and warmer. I always got dressed before I left my bedroom. I had two options to choose from: comfy, red-and-white-checkered flannel pajamas or a thin nightgown. Sometimes I got hot flashes when I had my period, so I’d chosen to pack the latter, but it seemed too revealing. Maybe I would have picked it if I wasn’t on my period, but even then, I would have probably opted for the safer option.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Maximus was only in his jeans. The sight of his upper body let heat rise into my cheeks. My eyes registered the outline of a new tattoo on his back. The only tattoo there so far was a paw on one shoulder and a continuation of the forest scene on the other. Now, there was an outline of an oak tree,our oak tree, and a snake wrapped around the roots of the tree, its head rising all the way up to the crown.

It wasn’t filled out yet, but it would be an impressive tattoo once it was done.

“Why the snake?” I asked.

Maximus turned to me. “The snake symbolizes my sins and the tree the consequences of them. It’s a warning and a memorial.”

I bit my lip and nodded slowly. “I told you I don’t blame you.”

Maximus gave me a tight smile. “I know. And I’ll still spend the rest of my life making amends for what I did.”

He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I sighed.

I wondered how I could free him of his guilt. I blamed the men who captured us, our world, the Bratva, but not Maximus. His guilt would stop us from moving on. But who was I to tell him about letting go of his guilt when I still blamed myself for losing our baby? Guilt was toxic; it was insistent and difficult to get rid of.

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