Page 12 of Sin and Redemption

“My writing has become more jaded and darker. It’s also gotten better. I read somewhere that great writers are born from trauma. Not sure it’s true, but writing has definitely become an outlet.”

She blew a few strands of her maroon hair out of her face. Her messy bun barely contained her wild mane anymore. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I was torn. I had come here to talk to Isa, but I was also terrified of how putting my fears into words would make them more real. Last night’s nightmare about our capturer’s leering face had shaken me up. “I’m worried about how yesterday will shape me and the future. I don’t want one bad thing to determine everything else. I don’t want to give them the power. But some things are out of my control, and it really scares me.”

Isa nodded. She tilted her head. “What’s out of your control? Are you worried you could be kidnapped again?”

That wasn’t even something I’d considered yet. I slowly shook my head. Dad would never allow that to happen. My life of going somewhere without bodyguards was definitely over. “I doubt it’ll happen again. It’s just… I worry about how people will treat me after learning what happened.”

“You can’t change people. Some of them will always talk shit. They like to gossip. You are a survivor, so don’t mind these idiots. Karma will pay them back.”

I let out a small laugh, but I quickly sobered up again. “You know that some people always blame us when things like that happen.”

“You mean being sexually assaulted?”

I swallowed; even just giving it a name made my stomach plummet. “Yeah.”

She sighed. “We women always get screwed over.” She sank her teeth into her lower lip. “I know it might seem impossible right now, but eventually, what happened won’t be at the forefront of your thoughts anymore.”

“Is it for you?”

Isa shrugged. “It’s still there, mainly at night or when I get startled by a noise, but it’s better. I’m glad there’s war, so I won’t have to see any Falcones anytime soon.” She grimaced. “That part will be harder for you.”

“I rarely saw Maximus in the past, and that won’t change in the future. And the Russians…I doubt I’ll ever see them again.”

Isa let out a humorless laugh. “They’ll probably all be dead within a year, don’t worry.”

I wondered if she wished that upon her kidnappers, upon the Unholy Trinity. They’d probably not be served justice, whatever that was.

Isa and I chatted for a few more minutes about her books before we returned to the lobby. Dad was still on his chair, but Matteo was gone. Gianna was no longer in the yoga room either. Her course was obviously over. “My parents are probably arguing somewhere,” Isa said with a small shrug as if it was no big deal. I’d never heard my parents argue. I wasn’t sure if they simply never fought or were just very good at hiding their arguments from my siblings and me.

The door to the gym opened, and Cara stepped inside, dressed in gym clothes with her brown hair up in a high ponytail. She was Maximus’s mother. She froze in her tracks with wide eyes when she spotted me, and I did the same. Her eyes were blue, not the startling auburn of her son, and I was glad they didn’t share many physical features.

She was quicker to recover. Her expression became compassionate, and I dreaded what she’d say. Being reminded of Maximus came too soon. I wanted to ban him from my thoughts, but her presence ripped open wounds.

“I’m so sorry, Sara,” she whispered. “I know it might be hard to hear, but Maximus is distraught. He didn’t want any of this.”

“Cara,” Dad said in a hard tone as he rose from his chair. “That’s enough. Sara doesn’t need to hear this now. She’s got enough on her plate.”

She squared her shoulders. “You’re looking out for your child, Romero, and I’m looking out for mine. Maximus was a victim in this too.”

I could see the worry on Cara’s face for her son. I wanted to tell her that I understood and didn’t want Maximus to feel guilty, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I just wanted to leave.

“It’s different,” Matteo, who had entered the scene without my noticing, said. “Maximus is a tough guy. He’ll survive.”

“That’s some serious sexism there, Dad,” Isa said, crossing her arms. “Men can be victims of sexual abuse too.”

“I’m sure it can be the case, Isa,” Matteo said in a voice that suggested he wasn’t convinced.

Dad put a hand on my shoulder. “We need to leave now.” I gave a terse nod. My throat was too tight to reply.

Talking to Isa had helped me, but what came afterward had opened the can of worms I wanted to keep closed. I didn’t want to think about Maximus because that meant reliving the details of what happened. I just couldn’t do it now. I wanted to have my old life back, and that wouldn’t happen if I broke down.

It probably wouldn’t happen at all.

“Paolo wants to talk to you,” Dad said as he stepped into my room after knocking. I had been reading a book on the restoration of medieval paintings for college even though I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready to return to my courses or when Dad would allow me to go.

A week had passed since the kidnapping, and I’d expected my fiancé to contact me sooner. On the other hand, I dreaded how mortifying it would be. I felt…I wasn’t sure what I felt, knowing Paolo had probably seen me with Maximus. I knew it wasn’t my fault. I had done nothing wrong, yet I felt inexplicably ashamed.

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