Page 89 of I'll Carry You

He didn’t want to leave Brandywood. Didn’t want to imagine a future where Jen and Colby were here—without him. And with Amanda having his baby, it’s not as though he could ever imagine leaving Chicago permanently again.

But he’d tried so hard to figure out a way to make any of this right, and he’d failed.

No amount of money he could spend, no grand gesture could undo the harm he’d caused, the trust he’d broken. He could never repair that. Never convince Jen he loved her.

He had no choice but to leave.

He would never be worthy of Jen and Colby. Because his grandfather was right: he’d never been worth the second chance at life he’d been given. He didn’t deserve Cavanaugh Metals, and he sure as hell didn’t deserve Jen and Colby Klein.

All that was left was for him to stop fighting the inevitable and walk away from it all.

He looked at Amanda, and the breath he expelled felt like hope leaving his body. “Actually, I think it’s time for me to go back to Chicago.”

ChapterTwenty-Nine

Jen satin a booth at Bunny’s, watching Colby as he downed a sugar sprinkle cookie. His ability to get crumbs everywhere never ceased to amaze her. Half the time, she was convinced he got more of the cookie on the floor and table than in his mouth. She returned her gaze to Travis, who sat across from her waiting for his grandmother to finish with a client behind the counter.

Travis gave her a quick wink. “It’s going to be okay, you know that.” She’d already told him about the bakery her father had proposed—he’d texted her impatiently asking to know.

“I know, but I’ve worked here since I was sixteen. I feel like your grandmother is almost my grandmother at this point.”

More than that, she thought of all the work she’d poured into things the last week. The meetings with her dad at the bank and to see his lawyer. Staying up late into the night reading everything she could get her hands on and building a business plan. She’d also met Garrett Doyle at the hardware store to gain a proper estimate on the cost to fix the place—that number still made her break out in a cold sweat.

Her plan might still be in its infancy, but she’d worked harder on it than she’d worked on anything for a while. And a part of her didn’t want to let that go now. Jen stretched her arms out on the table in front of her, then folded them across each other while she set her head down. “What if Bunny hates me for this?”

“She won’t hate you.” Travis chuckled sardonically. “You know her. She’s going to have your back.”

“Really? When I’m thinking of setting up a shop a few doors down?” That was the part of this that worried her the most. That Bunny would never want to speak to her again. After all, whatever had sparked her feud with Peter Yardley had lasted for decades now. And they’d spent most of that time always trying to outdo each other. “What if I’m the new Peter to her?”

Travis lowered his voice, leaning closer. “Peter’s become his own thing. I think even my grandma must claim defeat on that one. He has his own show on that network that does all the celebrity food shows. A classic American show. How can my grandma compete with that? He’s moved his whole Christmas special to the lighted flotilla at the lake, so it can coincide with the festival and fireworks, and he’s going to make the announcement then.”

She gave him a curious look. “Who told you all that about the flotilla?”

A sheepish expression crossed his face. “Lindsay.”

Her draw dropped. “Have you two been talking again?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s so complicated with her. But we did text after that baking competition last week. But see? You’re the glue that brings the Yardleys and the Wagners together. The one thing we can agree on.”

Bunny started toward their table, still holding the cloth they used to wipe down the espresso machine. She shook her head when she saw she still carried it and set it in front of her. “I swear I’ve put more than one of those in my purse before.” She sat beside her grandson.

Jen smiled. “I think I’ve done something similar.” She gave Bunny an apologetic look. “Though it probably doesn’t help that you’ve been having to pick up so many hours that I couldn’t work for you.”

“That’s what happens when you use that preschool that Yardley girl recommended.” Bunny folded the cleaning cloth into a neat square. “But that’s beside the point. With Christmas only a few days away, things are just busy, you know how it is. I would be here anyway. Now, what did you want to talk about?”

Jen didn’t want to think of Christmas being a few days away. Her life had taken such a strange turn in the past few weeks that Christmas didn’t feel quite real right now. She’d been able to buy Colby some presents and had wrapped them, thanks to Jason paying off her bills, but her spirits didn’t match. That was also thanks to Jason.

She put the thoughts of him aside, and her gaze darted briefly to Travis. He gave her an encouraging look. Thank goodness she’d asked him to be here. She glanced at Colby, who was still chewing the cookie. “Well, Bunny...you know I’ve always appreciated everything you’ve taught me and how I give you credit for everything I’ve learned.”

Bunny gave her a puzzled look. “Are you quitting?”

She felt the need to ground herself in something safe. For as many conversations that she’d had with Bunny, telling her this made the possibility of it real. If she moved forward now, she was on the hook.

She put her hand on Colby’s back. “Millie Price has agreed to rent me the old hardware store on Main. And my father has offered to help me get a loan to fix it up and create my own bakery.”

Bunny was silent. She blinked, her face thoughtful as she seemed to weigh her response. Tilting her head, she asked, “When are you opening?”

Jen cleared her throat and her fingers curled around Colby’s thin shoulders. “I’m not sure. I wanted to talk to you before I made a final decision. There’s no way I could move forward if you were angry with me. I’m making a business plan right now. But, hopefully, if all goes well, sometime next summer.”

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