Page 77 of I'll Carry You

“But you guys were barely together.” Lindsay squinted at her. “I mean, I’m not trying to downplay your feelings, but I’m just...”

Jen sniffled, then sank down into a kitchen chair. “I know. I’m an idiot. It was just so intense. Felt so real. Lindsay, he told me he wanted to marry me yesterday.”

Lindsay sat across from her and took her hand. “Please, please tell me you were at least using protection with him?”

Grimacing, Jen covered her face with one hand.

“Jen!”

“I’m on the pill.” Her voice came out more defensive than she intended. “It was the heat of the moment. It felt like a trusting thing to do.”

“Right. A guy who tells you he likes to sleep around and have random hookups. Totally trustworthy.”

Jen looked toward the kitchen door as though her mother might walk through, even though she knew she’d gone outside. “He said he always uses protection.”

“Jen, I love you, but next time, just say no.”

“I know, I’m so stupid. I just felt desirable.” Jen slunk back in her seat. “I’m going to go to the doctor this week and get tested.”

“Yeah, well, gonorrhea and chlamydia aren’t desirable.” Lindsay held out a hand. “Not saying you have that, but just please, please try to learn from this.”

Her face turning warm, Jen said, “Lindsay, you’re officially making me feel worse.”

“Sorry, call it the teacher in me.” Lindsay drew her hand down over the air in front of her face. “Turning that off and friend mode on. I’m honestly, so, so sorry. But I guess the good news is that you’re rich?”

Jen combed her fingers through her hair. It felt greasy and tangled. She needed to go take a shower. “Yeah, I’m not rich. And neither is Colby. I don’t want anything to do with the Cavanaughs or their money. I don’t want it.”

Lindsay’s jaw dropped. “You better not tell me you’re going to turn it down.”

“I don’t want his money.” Jen shrugged and picked at the frayed edge of her shirt. “I spent all night last night thinking about it. And I don’t want it.”

“Are you crazy? That money could turn your life around.”

“But I don’t want it.” The man who’d come the day before—Ned—hadn’t given her a specific amount but said it was in the hundreds of millions. Along with the shares of a business and properties in Chicago. That amount of money sounded so absurd that she could barely process it.

Lindsay looked at her as though she’d completely lost it. “It’s not like you can decline it.”

“Actually, yes, I can.”

“What? No, you can’t.”

“Yes, I can.” Jen caught a flash of blue running across the backyard. Colby was heading toward the swing set, her mother chasing after him.Thank God for her parents.

Lindsay followed her gaze. “What are you talking about?”

This part felt harder to explain, but it had occurred to her around three in the morning and the idea felt just as fuzzy in her brain as it had when she’d conceived it. “They told me they needed a paternity test to prove Colby was Kevin’s son. And soon. Apparently, there was some stipulation that the heir had to come forward within ninety days and that window is nearly up. I’m just not gonna get one. Without proof of paternity, Colby doesn’t inherit.”

Lindsay squeezed her hand. “Please, Jen, please think about it. It’s not your money anyway. It’s Colby‘s money.”

“No, it’s not. It’s Jason’s.” His name even felt bitter on her tongue.

“But it could solve so many of your problems.” Lindsay held her hands out, motioning toward the kitchen. “Your parents are saints, but you said you wanted to give Colby a home. This money could change his life. Make you both a lot happier in the long run.”

“Really?” Jen cleared her throat. She felt remarkably settled about this, despite everything else in her life feeling chaotic. “Look at Kevin. Look at Jason. Were they happy? I might not have a lot, but I have everything I need. I was blind and stupid; you’re right. But what I was stupid about was thinking that somehow money would solve my problems. Make them easier? Yes. Solve them? No.”

Lindsay lowered her chin, her gaze down toward the hardwood as she listened. Jen continued, “I don’t want my son to grow up in a world where he thinks that the more money he has, the happier he can be. Where he doesn’t understand that love and family are far more valuable. When I met Jason, he filled that giant void in his life with cheap sex and money. Kevin tried to fill them with drugs. Colby has all he needs here in Brandywood.”

Lindsay drew a sharp breath. “And if Colby gets to be an adult and finds he could have lived comfortably for the rest of his life and you took that chance away?”

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