Page 43 of I'll Carry You

He’d been so goddamn reckless.

But Jen was involved now, like it or not.

As he stepped onto the porch, Ned called out behind him. “Amanda’s going to be real interested to find out you have a girlfriend. She says you blocked her number. You’re going to want to talk to her if you’re smart.”

Jason looked over his shoulder. What the actual fuck? She was really pushing this whole pregnancy scam, wasn’t she? But the implication that she’d be upset about Jen was just one straw too far. They were history.And she doesn’t have a heart.“Amanda can go fuck herself. And so can you.”

He stalked back to his cabin, half expecting Ned to follow him. Instead, he was left alone with his thoughts and the cold seeping in through the fabric of his sweatshirt. The wood smoke from fires and the occasional hoot of an owl brought back memories of summers from long ago—camping trips and the trips to visit Mildred. Things had ended with his father.

The cold cut his throat, and he peeled the sweatshirt off as he reached his car. At least he didn’t have to go to the trouble of hiding it now. He’d already dressed for his date with Jen and had even shaved. But it was more than nerves that ate at his gut as he started the engine.

If he told Jen the truth now, she’d think he’d been lying to her the whole time. Which wasn’t completely inaccurate. Omitting the truth was still lying.

He shifted his car into gear and pulled onto the main driveway. He’d loved driving this car from the minute he’d pulled it off the car lot. The muscle memory of shifting and the smooth feel of the leather steering wheel against his hands always worked wonders for stress.

It'd been the first thing he bought for himself after his split with Amanda. He couldn’t stomach the thought of the other car he’d owned. Or the way they’d christened it in a parking garage in Chicago.

But maybe he’d deserved what he’d gotten with Amanda. He wasn’t any good, and his whole reason for being here in Brandywood more than proved that.

How could he start anything off with Jen by explaining that everything she thought she knew about him was a lie?

Jen had been sweet, listing the things she’d tucked into her memory about him. What was he even thinking? He wasn’tstartinganything with her at all. He simply wanted her.

Temporarily.

Because that’s all you’re good for.

His fucking grandfather’s voice sneered at him.

Jason slammed the palm of his hand against the steering wheel.

It hadn’t been enough that his grandfather blamed Jason for everything going to hell. Hadn’t been enough that he hated Jason.

He still remembered standing next to his grandfather at his father’s funeral. A ten-year-old boy, sniffing, tears flowing freely.

“Quit your crying. That should be you in that box,” his grandfather had said.

And now, his grandfather had reached those claws out from beyond his own grave and was still sinking them into Jason’s life.

Nothing he’d ever done had been enough to make his grandfather happy.

Jason worked himself up into the worst of moods by the time he pulled up in front of the apartment complex where Jen lived. He was in the mood to run ten miles or pound his fists into a punching bag.

He was in the mood to fuck, especially since he hadn’t seen Jen for twenty hours. Her texts last night had definitely made him horny.

His blood boiled hot as he stalked across the parking lot, thinking about Jen. Maybe they should skip the restaurant and room he’d booked them at the nearby ski resort and just stay here.

He hardened as he thought about her on his lap in the cabin the other night, her voluptuous, perfect breasts rubbing against his chest. He’d strip her down, find the nearest surface to prop her up on, peel her panties off, and then bury his face between her legs.

Jen opened the door to her apartment a few moments after he knocked.

Her hair was down in waves, and she wore tight jeans and a sexy black top that plunged into a deep V.Perfect.

Then he noticed the flecks of mascara on her cheeks and the puffiness of her eyes. Her lips, too.

She’d been crying.

He froze, thinking of Ned. Had he gotten to her already? A flash of panic rose in his chest.

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