Page 147 of He Loves Me Knot

“Then . . . that’s why they got divorced?”

“I’m sorry. I sound like a fool, I know. You just said earlier that you didn’t know if something deeper had ruined me.”

She cringed. He wasn’t completely coherent andthatshe was certain had to do with the alcohol.

“That’s notentirelyhow I said it but?—"

“It turns out Sophia’s mum was my mum’s lover. Isla told me. Which, the more I think about it, makes it even more sick and twisted because it’s like Sophia was my stepsister. That’s why my mum couldn’t choose between us. She views her like a daughter.”

Oh, wow.Yeah, that would be a lot to take.

“But she wasn’tyourstepsister. You didn’t know. You can’t beat yourself up over that.” Liddy interlaced her fingers with his. “Are you upset because you never knew your mom was . . . what, bi?”

“No.” Callum shook his head. “No, that doesn’t make a difference. It doesn’t matter who she left for. Who she cheated with. The effect was the same. It blew up my life. My family.” He cleared his throat. “I barely got to see my sister, except on holidays. I spent years wondering if I had something to do with their breakup. I thought if I had been a better child, my parents would have stayed together—they sent me to a boarding school. Almost as though they didn’t want me around. Then years not having a real home. I still don’t have a home. The last time I did, I was nine years old.”

His words filled her with a profound sadness. She loved living in England, but she also knew that, no matter what she was going through, no matter how much she might not always see eye to eye with her parents, she could go home. Her roots were deep. And not because of the house where she’d grown up—her parents had sold that when Elle had bought them a better place.

But because of the people.

“Ever heard the expression ‘home isn’t a place’? That’s what I’ve found, anyway. I’m home whenever I’m with the people I love the most in the world. Wherever that may be,” she said in a gentle voice.

The hammock swayed in a breeze, then a light sprinkling of rain started again. They were under the cover of the porch, but the mist dampened her skin.

“Maybe . . . but I don’t have that. The thing of it is that Isla does. Isla was miserable at the boarding school she was sent to, and Mum insisted to my dad that she come live with her instead. So Isla spent years here. And now my mum is looking to sell it because the business isn’t doing well. Isla is sentimental and wants to buy it, and she doesn’t have the money, so she wants me to lend it to her.”

Her heart ached for him.

He had every reason to be angry and notwantto lend his sister the money. Not that anger was serving him well.

“Would she be able to pay you back, do you think?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust her. I’m not certain she’s aware of the extent of the changes that would need to happen to makeLa Haciendaprofitable, though. Or that she has the personality to run this place—she’s a dreamer, like my mum. But I also don’t want her to lose the place she considers home.”

She rested her head on his chest, tracing the outline of the tattoos on his forearm. The Callum that had inked his body in soccer team tattoos, she imagined, had probably been a different person. But what he’d told her also made her realize that he’d probably lost another sense of home and belonging when he’d lost his dream to play soccer.

And when he broke up with Sophia.

Which explains a lot, really.

His sense of worth had been shot down over and over again. His sense of place. And belonging.

She closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeat.

She’d struggled with belonging, too.All my life.

That was why she felt so unmoored today when she felt like an outsider to her own family.

He doesn’t even have that.

“You know, Sergio actually mentioned something interesting to me earlier. He said he’d spent the time while we were away today talking to some American who’s interested in buying the land. I didn’t quite get that he meantthis land, but that must have been what he meant.”

Callum released a guttural sigh. “Shite. Then I don’t have as much time to decide as I thought if my mum is already lining up buyers. I don’t want Isla to lose everything because of me.”

This must be so heart-wrenching for him.

“I can’t tell you what to do with your money,” she said gently. “But I think you’ve spent a long time running from some of the people and places who made you what you are today. Your mom may not deserve a second chance or a relationship with you—that’s up to you to decide—but sometimes facing the things that have made us feel like outsiders is the only way to move forward. You should face your fears and talk to her.” She splayed her hand on his chest. “Like you made me face my fears, Coach.”

He gave one light chuckle. “I didn’t make you do anything. I simply suggested.”

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