Page 45 of Steadfast

Maeve joined his side. Intertwining her arm in his, she leaned her head on his shoulder as they gazed out over the property.

Being by his side felt right.

“You know, my dad’s health has taken a turn. He’s been talking more and more about giving up ranchin’ altogether,” Abel mused. “All this is going to end up on my shoulders.” He looked at her there by his side. When their eyes connected, she noticed a glint of pride in his gaze. “On our shoulders, Maeve.”

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Abel to daydream about their future, but this time was different.

Abel seemed determined.

Pointing out across the South Pasture, he enthusiastically closed one eye and looked through his finger and thumb as though he were scoping out the dimensions of his immense vision for the ranch.

“I’m thinkin’ about putting a rodeo arena right between that rock and that gopher hole. What do ya think?”

“For who?” She played along.

“All our boys, of course, they’re going to be bull riders,” he chuckled. “And well, I guess our girls too if we have a few.”

It was all too much. Maeve had lost the battle with her guilt.

When Abel noticed the silence between them, he glanced over and saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Maeve?” He said, pulling her in. “Did I say something wrong?”

Maeve stepped away from his embrace. What came next were the words she had rehearsed all afternoon.

It was the truth that Abel deserved to hear.

Be my peace, Lord.

Wiping her tear streaked cheeks on the sleeve of her shirt, she drew her courage.

“If you knew what I’ve done, Abel, you wouldn’t want me for a wife.”

He took off his cowboy hat and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair as he took in her words.

“What do you mean?”

“I had another life before all this,” she finally got the nerve to face him, but not quite enough to meet his eyes. “I made choices that I’m not too proud of.”

He stood before her as she felt the secrets tumble across her lips that she promised she wouldn’t tell another living soul.

“You know I left home, but I never told you why, and well—” Maeve didn’t bother mincing words. There was no way to sugarcoat the disaster she had created of her life. “I got pregnant, and the baby, well, the baby—”

It had been a long time since she had spoken the words out loud. She crossed her arms tightly as though fortifying her armor of protection against the vulnerability of her confession. It was her deepest emotional wound, which, if she were honest, was far from healing on its own.

“I lost the baby, Abel.”

She wasn’t prepared to see the disappointment or disgust on Abel’s face. It was a look she would be able to identify immediately because it was the last expression she had seen in her father’s eyes.

The silence between them seemed deafening, interrupted only by the loud chirping of a flock of birds that soared across the pasture above them.

“Maeve?” Abel’s voice broke through the quietness of the open field.

She felt his hands gently on her shoulders, providing the strength and courage she lacked. Even still, she was unable tomeet his gaze.Feeling his hand under her chin, he lifted her tear stained face. His voice was pleading with her now.

“Maeve, will you just look at me?”

Finally, she conceded.

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