Page 30 of Shock & Awe

“I’m sorry, sir,” the Marine said. “We have no other orders to deliver.”

“No, no, if the team is being called back, I’m going with them,” Kelly shouted. “Kelly Abbott, check your goddamned orders again!”

Nick moved to stand in front of him, putting a hand on his hip as Kelly tried to go down the steps after the two Marines. “Kelly, stop. Stop!”

Kelly shoved at him, trying to break free, still shouting at the Marines. “You can’t take my team without me! You can’t send them back without me!”

Nick wrapped him up, glancing over his shoulder. “Go!” he shouted at the two men.

They hurried to obey, retreating to their SUV.

“Kelly, stop,” Nick pleaded, his voice breaking as he held Kelly tighter. “Please, stop. Doc.”

Kelly collapsed against him as the car pulled away. He lowered his head, resting it against Nick’s shoulder as he let out an anguished shout. Nick was truly holding him up now. Kelly didn’t care if he was standing or not. His team. His boys. He was supposed to be there with them.

“I’m sorry,” Nick whispered. “I’m sorry, Doc.”

Kelly lifted his head and shoved away from him, but Nick wouldn’t let him go. He pulled him into a hug, placing Kelly’s head under his chin and holding him tight.

“I know what you just did,” Kelly whispered. He relaxed into Nick’s protective embrace. Nicked hummed questioningly. “You weren’t holding me back. You were holding me up.”

Nick’s arms tightened around him.

“So I wouldn’t look weak in front of a Marine.”

Nick rested his chin on Kelly’s head, his hands grasping at Kelly’s back. “You could never be weak. You carry the whole team with you.”

Kelly groaned mournfully. The phone on the kitchen counter began to ring again.

“It’s Ty,” Nick said. “He was probably trying to warn us.”

Kelly took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to accept the crushing realization that everyone he loved was being called to war and he wasn’t capable of going with them. “How long do you have?”

“Forty-eight hours,” Nick said.

Kelly closed his eyes, holding his breath until he was almost light-headed. He finally let it out and met Nick’s eyes. Nick took Kelly’s face in both hands. They stood in silence, staring into each other’s eyes as both their cell phones rang and rang inside.

They converged in Charlotte, everyone flying in from around the country so they could report together as a team. They all knew it might be the last thing they did as a team, because there was no guarantee they’d be kept together once they were deployed.

Nick and Kelly sat together in one of the airport lounge areas, waiting for the others to arrive and join them. These would be their last moments alone together, the last chance they had to say what needed to be said. Nick couldn’t think of a word that seemed adequate.

Kelly finally flopped his arm over Nick’s shoulders. “When you’re over there,” he said, his voice pitched low. “I want you to remember you have unfinished business here, okay?”

Nick glanced at him, his heart in his throat when their eyes met.

Kelly’s smile wavered, giving Nick a glimpse of the pain Kelly was trying to hide. “There’s so much I want to say to you,” Kelly whispered.

Nick’s words were barely audible. “I know.”

“I thought we’d have more time to figure this out, but . . . I’ll wait for you to get back.”

“Kels, you shouldn’t do that.”

Kelly smiled sadly. “I don’t have anyone better to do,” he drawled, echoing Nick’s own words. Nick huffed, and Kelly leaned closer to press his forehead to Nick’s temple. Nick patted his cheek. He turned his head and their lips found each other. It was almost physically painful to share that last kiss. When it ended, Nick couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak. He turned his head so they were once again leaning against each other, and he kept his hand on Kelly’s cheek after he closed his eyes.

They sat that way in silence. Unmoving. Barely breathing. Nick’s mind churned. He was nearly ill by the time someone touched him on the shoulder. He opened his eyes to find Ty and Zane standing in front of them, both looking as worn out and heartsick as Nick felt.

“Hey,” Nick grunted.

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