Page 78 of Part & Parcel

“We’re breaking the rules,” Kelly managed to growl once he’d regained enough self-control to end the kiss.

Nick’s fingers dug into Kelly’s back, pulling him flush and dragging his teeth over Nick’s chin.

“You’re right,” Kelly said. “Fuck the rules.”

Nick dragged him the two or three steps toward the bed, kissing him hungrily, strong hands roaming over Kelly’s still-damp skin. The backs of Kelly’s legs hit the edge of the mattress, and Nick shoved him. He was still bouncing on the mattress when Nick crawled over him, using his knees and hips to force Kelly’s legs apart.

Kelly wrapped around him, his fingers in Nick’s hair again, his heels finding his favorite spot to rest at the small of Nick’s back. Their kisses were getting noisy, messy, and a little obscene.

Kelly realized in the back of his mind he was expecting Eli’s music to start playing any second now, and he grunted plaintively. Nick growled and shoved away from him, hanging his head and closing his eyes as Kelly blinked up at him.

“Babe?” Kelly whispered.

“I told myself we’d learn what we were on this trip,” Nick told him, his voice grave.

Kelly cupped his face, his body relaxing under Nick’s, his heartbeat slowing. “We know what we are.”

Nick was nodding. He pushed up so he was kneeling between Kelly’s legs, head bowed, fingers digging into Kelly’s thigh. “You know what you are. And I know what I am. But we don’t know whatweare. And this isn’t helping us figure it out.”

Kelly deflated, resting his head against the mattress and closing his eyes. He felt Nick moving, felt him getting up and moving away. “Have we ever known whatwewere?” Kelly demanded. He hated that he was getting angry, but he had been angry for a long time, and he was tired of repressing it.

Nick stood with his back to Kelly, his shoulders hunched and his head down. He shook his head in answer.

“I’ve always been . . . confused as hell about the way you make me feel.” Kelly struggled to sit up, wincing as his back complained. “And you? You’ve always been in love with your best friend.”

Nick turned, his expression a mixture of wounded and confused. “You’re holding that against me?”

Kelly shrugged sadly. “I’m running out of reasons why you’d possibly still be pushing me away, Nick.”

“That’s not one of them,” Nick snarled.

“Then tell me one of them. Tell meallof them.”

Nick closed his eyes, shaking his head as he ran his fingers through his hair. “There are no reasons, Kels. I’m not pushing you away.”

“That’s funny. ’Cause I sure do feel pushed.”

Nick stared at him for a few seconds, his jaw tight and his eyes narrowed, before his shoulders relaxed a little and he appeared to be coming to a realization. His mouth parted, and his eyes went distant for a brief moment before focusing back on Kelly. “Wow,” he whispered.

“What?” Kelly snapped.

Nick was almost smiling when he took a step toward Kelly and dropped his voice lower. “You haven’t pulled this shit in a long time, Doc.”

Kelly didn’t speak. His brow furrowed and he tilted his head carefully, not sure what Nick was getting at.

“You have no idea why you’re angry, do you?” Nick asked him.

Kelly huffed, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. He snorted instead, waving his hand at Nick. Wasn’t it obvious why?

Nick moved closer, ducking his head. “You’ve been angry with me, but you couldn’t bring it up, and you couldn’t call me on it. So you saved it until you had a good reason to use it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Kelly. I asked you to marry me,” Nick whispered. “I meant it . . . I meant it with everything I have in me. And then I had to hide it.”

Kelly blinked a couple times, his breath gone and his heart seeming to race as they stared at each other. His world was swirling, spinning, diluting down to just one pinpoint of light.

Nick.

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