Page 18 of Part & Parcel

Nick was now stretched out across the bed like a cat on a warm rug, and when Kelly glanced at him, at powerful muscles, at skin covered in scars and ink, at auburn waves and the beard Nick was still afraid to shave because his hands were unsteady, and those incredible green eyes that could bore their way into Kelly’s soul, every part of Kelly’s body screamed for him to pounce Nick’s ass and do that again.

“You okay?” Nick asked when he found Kelly staring.

Kelly bit his lip. “You want some water?”

Nick nodded, and Kelly turned to the bathroom to get a glass of water and a damp rag to clean off with. He made quick work of the mess on his belly, and even managed to get most of the lube off without resorting to getting in the shower like he usually had to. Then he grabbed a fresh hand towel, wet it, and brought it out to Nick, who was watching him like a hawk, a frown flirting over his expression.

“What’s up with this?” Nick asked, and he waved a hand over Kelly’s face when Kelly handed him the glass of water and his pills.

Kelly couldn’t help but smile. Nick always knew when something was off with him, and he usually knew when to push and when to let Kelly work through his moods himself.

He climbed into the bed and stretched out sideways next to Nick, propping himself on his elbow, waiting until Nick downed his pills.

“Was that the first time you’d ever done that?” Kelly asked.

Nick’s lips twitched. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it wasn’t really a frown either. He took another sip of water, swallowing hard. “No.”

Kelly nodded. He didn’t want to examine why he was relieved by that, but he kind of wished he’d asked earlier so he wouldn’t have been so fucking nervous.

“It was the second time,” Nick added, taking another drink to cover his smirk.

Kelly’s eyes widened and sought out Nick’s, and Nick swallowed his water and laughed at him.

“Why is that funny?” Kelly asked.

“You look kind of terrified right now.”

“I do not.”

“Do too.” Nick downed the rest of his water and tossed the empty glass toward the sofa, then rolled so he was facing Kelly. He placed a hand on Kelly’s hip, his fingers gentle as he stroked along the dream catcher tattoo. “What’s on your mind?”

“The first time,” Kelly said hesitantly. “Was it . . . not . . .”

“It was fine,” Nick answered quickly, meeting Kelly’s eyes. He smiled again, which went a long way toward making Kelly believe him. “It wasn’t fun, though. It got less fun as it happened, which is why I was so fucking nervous, I guess. When I said slow down, he didn’t, and I never trusted him after that. It was . . . pretty much the end of him and me. But I’m sorry, I should have been able to separate that from you. I know you.”

“Don’t apologize, babe.”

Nick shrugged, sighing heavily. “I know you.”

“Don’t.” Kelly petted Nick’s cheek. “It’s okay.”

“It just . . . it wasn’t something I’d ever wanted to do again.”

Kelly pursed his lips, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“Not until you.”

Kelly stared into his eyes, not trying to think of anything to say. There was nothing hecouldsay that would be more effective than listening. He edged closer, letting Nick wrap his arms around him, sliding his leg between Nick’s knees, and resting his head against Nick’s chest.

“I love you, Kelly.”

Kelly took a deep breath and sighed it out slowly, kissing Nick’s chest, eyes drifting shut as Nick held him close. After a few seconds he realized that Nick was holding his breath and his heart was racing. He raised his head to meet Nick’s eyes, searching for a hint as to why.

Nick was silent, letting him look.

“What’s wrong?” Kelly asked.

Nick shook his head, smiling sadly.

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