“He told me he’d email me his idea because he kept giggling,” Kelly said, gazing at the headstone and shaking his head fondly. “The last words I said to him were, ‘See you soon, babe.’ And his last words to me were . . .” Kelly seemed to stumble over them, swallowing hard a few times. “He said, ‘Be good, Doc.’ And he hung up.”
He wiped a hand across his mouth, his head lowered, and then he knelt on one knee and put his palm on the top of the headstone. “See you soon, brother,” he whispered, and after another few seconds with his head bowed, the wind ruffling his hair, he pushed to stand again and stepped back. He leaned into Nick briefly like he needed the contact to comfort himself, then stood straight again, chin up and eyes on the marble.
“He was laughing last time I talked to him, too,” Digger said without preamble. He glanced around almost self-consciously and stepped toward the headstone, getting down on both knees, shoulders slumping as he sat back on his feet. “He called me, said he needed one of my mama’s recipes. The hotter the better, he said he wanted it to hurt coming out the other end. I told him he’d have to barter with her for it, so he sent her a basket of avocados over the internet. Fucking avocados. I called him to cuss his ass out, and he just laughed. Same kind of laugh he gave Doc, I bet. He told me to enjoy my fruit dip, then he said, ‘Love you, sweetcheeks.’”
Digger laughed, grinning wide as he touched his fingers to the top of the headstone. “And the last words I ever said to him were, ‘Love you too, pookie.’ And we hung up. And the next call I got was from Rico telling me he was gone.”
The group was silent as Digger’s fingers slid off the headstone. “Love you too,” he whispered. He didn’t get up like Kelly had, he just remained slumped on the ground.
Soon enough, Owen got to his knees beside Digger, their shoulders pressed together, both of them hanging their heads. Zane glanced at the others to find Ty standing with his eyes closed, his face raised to the breeze.
“He called me to tell me he was coming to San Diego when he finished the case he was working on,” Owen announced. “Said he wanted my help tracking down someone. He’d explain it when he came into town. I think he was planning to hunt down his son.” Owen knocked on the ground in front of the grave with his fist. “I’ll find him for you, bud.”
Zane glanced at the others again to see Ty watching Owen sympathetically, and Nick and Kelly both standing together, their heads lowered, their hands clasped together so hard Kelly’s knuckles were turning white.
“Last words I said to him,” Owen continued, his voice going hoarse and wavering. “I said, ‘Stay out of trouble, chief.’ And he told me, ‘No promises.’ Then he laughed and hung up. He laughed.”
Owen nodded as his hand clutched at the manicured grass over the grave. He brought his fingers to his lips and kissed them, then pressed them to the letters engraved on Eli’s headstone. “Stay out of trouble.”
Ty leaned back into Zane’s hand, sniffing. “I didn’t answer his last call to me. I was busy,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “He left me a message. Last time I talked to him was in person, I saw him when I was passing through New York. We met for a drink. He gave me a hug before I got in a cab to head for the airport. Tight hug, you know? Like he did. Patted me on the back and messed up my hair. I told him, ‘I’ll see you around.’ And the last thing I heard him say was, ‘Safe trip, bro.’” Ty closed his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. He breathed out shakily and stepped around Nick and Kelly to kneel beside the headstone. He placed his hand over the top, patting it with his fingers. “I’ll see you around,” Zane heard him whisper.
He stood up almost immediately, stepping away and glancing at Zane with glistening eyes. Zane gave him an encouraging nod. He knew how much Ty had tortured himself in the years following Eli’s death, how often he had wondered if answering that last call would have saved his friend. Ty stepped closer, and Zane pulled him under his arm, hugging him silently.
The paper in Nick’s hands rustled in the breeze. Kelly turned to face Nick, leaning forward like he was trying to get a good look at him. “Nick,” he whispered, bringing his hand up to Nick’s shoulder.
Zane scowled, wondering why in the hell Kelly would push Nick into taking his turn when this had to be hard for everyone. But then Kelly stepped closer and wrapped his arm over Nick’s shoulder, and Ty broke away from Zane’s grasp to go to Nick’s other side like he sensed something wrong.
Zane realized, with a sickening twist in his stomach, that Nick was slowly sinking to his knees. A rock, finally crumbling to pieces. Ty and Kelly couldn’t keep him on his feet, and he hit the ground hard, his head hanging, the letter crumpled against his belly as he clutched at it. Zane heard a quiet sob as he moved to help, and when he caught sight of Nick’s face, he saw tears trailing down his cheeks. He took a step back, knowing there was nothing he could do to help. He didn’t belong in this moment.
“It’s okay, babe,” Kelly whispered as the others silently watched Nick, seeming to be at just as much of a loss as Zane was.
“I can’t remember,” Nick managed to say as he raised his head. His eyes welled, and he tried to take a breath, but it turned into a wavering, distraught gasp. He stared at the headstone, another tear breaking free and trailing down his cheek. “Why can’t I remember?”
No one moved. No one even seemed to be breathing, and the breeze picked up as if it was trying to cover the sound of Nick’s words. He stared at the headstone, gritting his teeth. Then he lowered his head again and covered his face with one trembling hand. His shoulders shook, but he made no sound as Ty and Kelly both wrapped their arms around him, trying to comfort the kind of pain that Zane knew no one could soothe away.
Nick raised his head again, and Zane found his throat tightening sympathetically as he watched the man fall to pieces. He’d never fully realized what these men meant when they saidbrother, but watching them, he was beginning to understand now. Nick reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out, looking at it as it sat in his palm. It was a dime, probably the same stupid dime he’d found on the ground that they’d been using to toss when they made decisions. The Dime of Fate, they’d called it.
Nick smacked the dime onto the top of the headstone, lowering his head as he held on to the marble for dear life. He was crying again, his shoulders trembling, trying and noisily failing to catch his breath.
“It’s okay,” Ty whispered into Nick’s ear, tugging at his arm. When Kelly and Ty struggled to their feet to pull Nick off the ground, Zane looked away. It didn’t feel right to be privy to the pain on Nick’s face.
Digger and Owen moved with them, each of them edging in to hug Nick, murmuring to him, pulling him away from Eli’s grave.
Zane stood alone, hands stuffed in his pockets, the breeze tugging at his hair as he watched Sidewinder stagger away. He glanced down at the grave, at the dime reflecting in the sunshine.
“They still need you,” he whispered to Eli. He was shocked to find his own voice wavering, and he cleared his throat, feeling sort of stupid. He swiped his hand over his mouth, leaving one last request before walking away. “Don’t leave them yet.”
The morning after Nick and Kelly returned home to Boston, they allowed themselves to sleep in. It was glorious, and even when Nick rolled himself out of bed and mumbled something about breakfast, Kelly remained happily tangled in the sheets. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, catching up on all the sleep he’d lost the last couple weeks, but when he finally did drag himself up the steps to the galley, he was surprised to find theFiddlerempty, the stove cold.
“Nick?” he called, even poking his head through the hatch to check the flybridge when he searched the yacht. But Nick was nowhere to be found. When he returned to the galley, he found a slip of paper he’d overlooked on his first glance around.
It was a note telling him Nick had gone for groceries, since theFiddler’s galley was barren.
Kelly wound up out on the foredeck, face turned to the sun, book forgotten on the table next to him. He heard Nick when he boarded the yacht, but he remained where he was. Nick would find him soon enough, and most likely join him. They might have been on a vacation the last week, but it had been anything but relaxing. They deserved to lounge around on the boat for a couple years.
“Thought you’d be out here,” Nick said softly when Kelly heard his footsteps approaching.
He turned his head, shielding his eyes against the sun as he squinted up at Nick.