Page 89 of Part & Parcel

“You’re the only living son of a Boston mob boss,” Kelly said. He lowered his head, and he nodded as if he was talking to himself internally. “Okay. Well, that won’t get you killed, will it?” he asked softly, then he stood before Nick could respond and walked away.

Nick sat in the dark, coat wrapped around him to ward off the chill, staring sightlessly off into the lights of the city. He’d come to the roof of the hotel partly because the sea was calling to him and he was tired of being cooped up inside, but also because he didn’t feel like getting a pep talk from Ty, and only the direst of pep talks could lure Ty onto the roof of a high-rise.

He just needed the silence. The peace that would come from the distant sounds of the city below.

He tore his eyes away from the sky, where he’d been seeking the stars, when he heard faint footfalls behind him. He knew without turning around that it was Kelly, and just the thought of the man made his chest ache and his heart pound a little faster.

How the hell could he love someone so much, and yet still keep fucking up like this?

Kelly didn’t say a word as he shuffled up to the roof’s edge and sank down beside Nick. He settled on the cold concrete, then scooted closer, pressing his shoulder to Nick’s. A moment later he wrapped a blanket around both of them, and Nick shivered violently. He hadn’t realized how cold he’d been until the warmth surrounded him.

“You been up here a long time,” Kelly said, keeping his voice neutral.

“I’m . . . I needed time to . . .”

“You’re scared to come inside because then you’ll have to look me in the eye,” Kelly stated. “And you’re afraid of what you’ll see. Right?”

Nick jerked and glanced at him, but Kelly was gazing out into the sea of humanity, his expression serene, his body relaxed. He slowly turned his head to meet Nick’s eyes, and his fingers snaked over Nick’s thigh to take hold of Nick’s hand. He squeezed it, pulling it out of Nick’s lap and into his, his thumb running over Nick’s knuckles.

Nick couldn’t catch his breath as he stared into Kelly’s eyes, no matter how many shuddering gasps he attempted.

“You walked away,” Nick found himself saying. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk.”

Kelly lowered his head. “I know. I’m not going to say I’m sorry, because I’m not.”

Nick winced and had to tear his eyes away from Kelly, concentrating on the moonlight instead. He swallowed hard, wondering if he had the strength to weather yet another storm the size of this heartache. He didn’t think he could.

Kelly sighed loudly. “I’ve found out that my temper sometimes gets away from me. Especially when it’s you. When it’s us.” He stopped, and Nick had to glance at him again to see what the heavy silence contained. Kelly was looking at him again, his brow furrowed, his mouth turned down in frustration. “We don’t fight much. We don’t even disagree much. But the few times we have and I’ve gotten angry, I do and say things I regret. I hit you when you came clean last time.”

Nick had to swallow again to fight the tightness in his throat. He merely nodded, staring into Kelly’s eyes.

Kelly leaned closer to him, his expression still grim. “That’s the kind of thing I can’t take back. It’s the kind of thing you remember, even if it’s not . . . I know our friendship was a physical one, and we both threw a few punches over the years. But it’s different now. And I don’t want to ever do that to you again.”

“Kels—”

“Don’t,” Kelly grunted. “Don’t tell me you don’t care, because even if you don’t, you should. We both know my temper. We both know I act first and think later. And because it’s the way we’ve always communicated, it’s the way I go first. And it’s bad. And I’m breaking myself of it. But that means I need to walk away sometimes before I say or . . .dosomething I’ll regret.”

Nick scowled. It sounded like Kelly had been thinking about this for a long time, that he’d been working through it on his own without mentioning it. That was such a foreign concept to Nick that he wasn’t even sure he could name another internal conflict of Kelly’s that he hadn’t been privy to from beginning to end.

“So,” Kelly said, and he rested his elbow against Nick’s hip, looking back out over the city. “What now?”

“Kelly . . .”

“I get why you kept it from us. From me. You’re the fucking long-lost prince of a Boston mob family. That’s something that literally could get you killed if the wrong person found out. I know you hate secrets and you think keeping them is some horrible sin, but . . . some secrets are kept for a reason. I sure as hell chalk this one up to that category.”

“And being on his payroll? That doesn’t bother you?”

Kelly shrugged. “Honestly? No. That’s your biological dad taking care of his son. Hell, makes me like the man a little more. And fuck it, you know what? If you want to go work for him and then take over the family business? I’m in. Just take me with you so I can watch your back.”

“Jesus, Kels.”

“What?” Kelly snapped. “I do not care. You’re a hell of a better person than I am for actually giving a damn, because if it makes me happy and it only hurts the people who deserve it? I’m in. Paddy Whelan wants you to take over for him and we have to run the underbelly of Boston together? I’m in. Fuck it. Maybe we could even do some good in Boston. Can you imagine the kind of impact a man like you, with morals, could have in that position? I’m in. I am one thousand percent in. I’m tired of you torturing yourself trying to live up to this standard of human that just does not fucking exist.”

“Trying tonotbecome a mob boss is a pretty low standard, all things considered.”

“Fuck you, dude, you know what I’m trying to say.”

Nick huffed. He took in a deep breath and shook his head. “Okay. Will you answer me honestly if I ask you a hard question?”

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