Page 69 of Part & Parcel

Zane had kept a hand on his elbow because when he laughed he leaned to the side and almost fell out of the booth. Finally, Zane had just thrown his arm around Kelly’s shoulders to keep him upright, and Kelly appreciated the contact.

As he thought about it, he remembered his decision to talk to Nick about the no-touching clause they’d created, and about the feeling of impending doom he’d been suffering. What better time than right now?

He reached across the table and tapped Nick’s empty glass while Digger and Owen shared a story with Zane.

Nick blinked at the glass, then up at Kelly with a raised eyebrow.

“I need to talk to you,” Kelly told him, his voice a little louder than he’d intended.

Nick just nodded, but he didn’t move. He had his arms crossed, leaning back in the padded bench seat. Occasionally his feet had snaked their way across the table when he’d been stretching them out, and Kelly had fought hard not tap back with his toes.

“I mean like, now.”

Nick’s lips parted and his eyes widened. “Oh. Okay.”

Kelly managed to get out of the seat without falling over, or even swaying too much, and he pulled Nick out of the booth, knowing his knee would be stiff and sore by now. Nick held on to his forearm after he found his feet, and Kelly realized how close they were as he gazed up into Nick’s eyes. He blinked and shook away the desire to pull him closer for a kiss, and instead jerked his head toward the other side of the restaurant. Nick followed obediently.

They slid into another booth since all the tables already had their chairs stacked on top of them. Nick was frowning toward the bar when he scooted over on the seat to let Kelly sit beside him.

“We should let her close up,” he said.

Kelly glanced at the bartender, who was wiping down her bar. As they watched her, the other guys called to her and she headed over there, talking with them for a few seconds before sitting with them. Kelly snorted. “Owen could talk his way out of a mortuary.”

Nick made a humming sound of agreement. He turned a little, resting his arm on the back of the bench behind Kelly and leaning his other elbow against the table. “What’s going on, babe?” he asked gently.

Kelly shrugged and winced. “Something’s not right,” he blurted, and he forced himself to meet Nick’s eyes. “I don’t feel right.Wedon’t feel right. And I can’t figure out why.”

Nick nodded. “I know,” he said softly.

“Do you know why?” Kelly demanded.

Nick was chewing on his lip, staring at Kelly almost like he didn’t see him. “We can’t fill the silence like this,” he said finally.

Kelly’s frown deepened as he watched Nick. He was definitely not sober, maybe less sober than Kelly right now. Maybe this hadn’t been the best time to do this.

Nick’s gaze seemed to focus a little as he looked into Kelly’s eyes. “We’ve always touched. We’ve always talked. Now we can’t do either.”

“We can talk,” Kelly argued. “We just aren’t.”

Nick nodded, as if Kelly had just agreed with his point.

Kelly sat back, leaning against Nick’s arm.

“When we hit a silence we can’t deal with, what do we do?”

Kelly scowled and shrugged. He had no idea what Nick was talking about.

“We fuck,” Nick answered. “If we can’t talk about something hard, we just fall into bed and ignore it. And ignore it.” He was staring past Kelly now, his eyes glazed over. “We’ve forgotten how to talk to each other.”

And suddenly Nick’s words made sense. Kelly gasped a little when he took in a shaky breath. “And since we can’t touch, we can’t communicate at all now.”

Nick was nodding almost as if he didn’t know he was doing it, still staring past Kelly at nothing.

“Wow,” Kelly whispered. “Okay. Okay.”

Nick finally looked back at him, his eyes soft and sad.

“Okay,” Kelly said again, and he turned to meet Nick head-on. “Let’s talk then. I feel like we’re not working. And I don’t know why.”

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