Page 38 of Part & Parcel

“What is the Empire State Building doing in DC?” Ty cried.

Kelly looked out the window again. He could see his own reflection in the glass, bearded and shaggy from the missions they’d been running, bruises everywhere, including one on his cheek that looked like he’d been sucker punched.

The memory was slowly returning.

They’d been discharged and sent home without a word of explanation. As soon as they’d landed in DC, Nick and Eli had started drinking to numb the pain of “losing the only thing they’d ever given a shit about.” The rest of them had soon followed suit.

He didn’t know how they’d wound up in New York City, but now that he was remembering why they’d been trying to find oblivion in a bottle, he sort of wished they’d tried harder.

“Civilian life,” he muttered, echoing Nick’s bitter words. He glanced to the side, where Ty was crawling back into bed and stuffing his head under a pillow. “What the hell are we supposed to do with civilian life?”

Everyone was so silent, Kelly could hear Eli breathing from all the way across the room. No one would meet his eyes.

“Rob banks?” Digger finally suggested.

“No!” Nick and Owen both barked.

Nick sat on the end of the bed nearest Kelly, hanging his head. Kelly stared at him, his stomach tumbling at the mere thought that they were done. What the hell were they supposed to do if they weren’t a team anymore?

“This is the end, isn’t it?” Kelly asked quietly. “Sidewinder no longer exists.”

Eli shook his head and the others grumbled quietly. But Nick shot off the bed again, fast enough that it made Kelly’s tender head spin, and Kelly flinched when Nick advanced on him. He chucked a pillow at Kelly’s face, and Kelly had to duck away from it and from him. He backed up until his bare back hit the window, and he gasped when Nick kept coming, shocked by the vehemence.

“Don’t ever fucking say that again,” Nick snarled, his finger pointed in Kelly’s face, eyes blazing and teeth gritted. “Not where I can fucking hear you,” he growled before he stalked off toward the door.

Kelly watched him go, eyes wide, wounded by the anger and the threat.

“Bro,” Eli called as he scrambled off the bed to go after Nick. “Yo, Rico, wait up!” He glanced at Kelly and shook his head as Kelly shrugged at him, and the others sat in silence, staring at each other uncomfortably as Eli ran after Nick.

“He took that better than I thought he would,” Ty finally offered from beneath his pillow.

May 31, 2013

“I’d forgotten about that morning,” Kelly said. “Or maybe blocked it out. God, you were so angry.”

“You deserved it.” Nick was hanging his head, his eyes closed, his fingers splayed through his hair.

“You’re right,” Kelly said quietly. His own memory of that last trip with his boys was bittersweet at best. It wasn’t the last time all six of them had been together, not by any stretch of the imagination. But it had been the end of Sidewinder. The end of the best thing he’d ever been a part of. And Kelly had been the main catalyst of that end. He’d seen a town in Colorado as they’d been driving through, and he’d fallen in love with it. Weeks later, when they’d still been holding on to the last gasps of their time together, when they’d still been on that road trip and traveling and having fun and beinga team, Kelly had decided it was time to go, said good-bye to them, and retreated to that little town.

His decision to leave had ended Sidewinder. And he’d never forgiven himself. He doubted the others had ever forgiven him either.

Kelly looked from the letter to Nick again, and he slid his hand over Nick’s back, letting it rest on his spine. “Nicko,” he whispered.

Nick cleared his throat. He wouldn’t look at Kelly, instead concentrating on the letter he held. He started to read again, speaking Eli’s words for him. “Of all the things we did together, of all the times we had, that trip was my favorite. It’s the time I remember in the dark, when the dreams are too sad and the scars hurt too much. Because it was everything good about the best time of our lives, and weallneed to remember it. Together. And that’s why I’m writing this letter. Because you boys need to remember Sidewinder the way I remember us. The way we were when we threw all our seabags into the back of Ty’s Bronco and set off across the country with zero idea of what we were doing.”

Nick stopped to swallow, and he coughed quietly. “Jesus, we were crazy.”

“Were?” Kelly asked with a smirk.

Nick snorted.

“What’s the rest say?”

“Step number two won’t be easy,” Nick read. “But there’s a reason I’m giving this task to you, Rico. You have to call each of the other guys and make them meet you at my gravestone. Without telling them why. So buck up, buttercup, this might get tricky.”

Kelly lay in bed, staring sightlessly through the dark. He was restless but also bone-tired, so he couldn’t even get up the energy to fidget. His heart ached, and Nick’s warmth next to him seemed to be making it worse instead of better.

Nick was just as restless, but he’d fallen victim to his pain pills and drifted off into what seemed like a torturous sleep. He was tossing and turning, murmuring in languages Kelly recognized but didn’t know how to translate. Every now and then, Nick would gasp and his entire body would tense, leaving Kelly bracing for impact. It hadn’t come yet, though, so Kelly was left to ponder the day.

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