Page 87 of Shadow Dance

Shrugging a shoulder with exaggerated casualness, I cram the rest of the ice cream sandwich into my mouth.

His eyes look back and forth between mine, and he sighs. “Go to bed, Maeve.”

“Not really your call,” I say, giving him a fake salute. “But yes, sir.”

He doesn’t smile, and neither do I. I turn away, rinse my hands, and leave the kitchen, feeling like I’m leaving my heart in there.

Chapter 26

Jaime

Ikeep going back to that moment, replaying it like my favorite scene of my favorite movie.

“I think I love you, Jaime.”

She’d given me a small, rueful smile, her voice almost apologetic like she was confessing to a secret sin. I felt myself get lost in her gorgeous green eyes when she said that, let them unravel all the parts of me that I kept hidden. So I confessed, too.

I couldn’t bear to let her love someone she didn’t really know.

She kept saying that after I told her the truth, too, that she didn’t know me. But the more she said it, the more I pushed back against it because I realized that she knows me about as well as I know myself these days. No matter how hard I try to maintain my cover character, the real me bleeds out all the time with Maeve.

That girl probably knows me better than anyone else on this planet. She might have only found out my real name, but she knows who I amtoday. This life changes you from the inside out. I’m not the person I was a year ago, or even three years ago. Part of me really is Jaime, and she knows that guy.She knows me.

I don’t know why it matters so much to me. I’ve known from the beginning that this was just a job, that it was temporary. Even if I really was Jaime Reyes, member of Cal’s crew, soldier for the Oliveras family,Maeve is on her way out. Cedro and Leo would probably have let me help Maeve, but they never would have let me go for good. Not for a woman. With families like theirs, you’re in for life.

We were never meant to make it beyond this.

I take a shower and change into clean clothes when we get back to the house, realizing with a sickening jolt that I smell like sex and her perfume. Would Cal have noticed if he’d been around when we walked through the door? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just know I’m glad we’re getting out of here tomorrow night. It’s getting harder and harder to maintain the façade, to pretend like I’m cool with Cal.

To pretend like I’m not in love with his girl.

There are no new messages from Lewis, but then he rarely initiates contact unless it’s absolutely essential. Last we spoke, he mentioned that they’d secured two out of three search warrants: Callum’s and Cedro’s properties. Dario’s was pending. The team wanted to raid the Oliveras compound first, but I let them know that would be a mistake.

For one thing, Cedro’s recently tightened security around his estate in the wake of his ongoing issues with Guzman. Leo says the acrimony between them is now out in the open and it’s got everyone on high alert. New guards patrol like clockwork, their paths numerous enough to cover any lapse.

But also, my gut instincts told me it was essential the raids coincide so that no warning bells reached Dario or Callum ahead of time. “Either serve Dario and Callum first, or serve all three properties at the same time,” I’d told Lewis. “You serve the Oliveras family first, and everyone else will go underground.”

Those were my official reasons and I stand by them. Unofficially, I need my colleagues to neutralize the most pressing threat, and right now, that’s Cal.

I had Maeve put a bag of absolute essentials into the trunk of my car earlier, before we left the house. I’m packing a bag of my own now, doing the same, when Cal texts and invites me over for pizza and beer.

I’m not really in the mood but keeping him happy seems wise, so I leave my shit and head over to the house.

Maeve looks the way I feel when I see her in the kitchen, thesmudges beneath her eyes indicative of stress and secrets. It’s hard to look at her, knowing I hurt her today. It hurt me, too.

The next few hours are a blur. One blunt turns to many. I barely remember the game or the taste of the pizza which Cal insists is “the best of the best.” I play GTA half-heartedly, taking the guys’ jeers and shit-talking with a smile, relieved when it’s Griff’s turn. I call it a night when Cal breaks out the coke. He barely sees me leave, he’s so intent on snorting that shit into his brain.

Maeve’s fucked up when we run into each other in the kitchen. Drunk. I hate seeing her like this—it reminds me too much of what she was like in the very beginning. Sarcastic and empty-eyed, desperate to escape her misery.

Just one more day.

I stare into the darkness,my body inexplicably tense. I almost feel like I was having a bad dream, one I can’t remember. Turning over, I settle into the sheets and let my eyes fall closed. Then a loud yell cuts the silence, followed by a series of muffled pops.Not a bad dream.I roll out of bed, grabbing my Glock from beneath the pillow. More yells, and then there’s another couple of pops like someone’s shooting with a suppressor. I check my burners to see if there are any messages from either Leo or even Lewis, but there aren’t.

Pulling on a shirt and sneakers, I rush over to the door and peek through the window. The house’s lights were off when I went to sleep earlier, but they’re on now. What is going on? Leo’s crew isn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow night. Either they changed their minds, or this is something else entirely. Whatever it is, I have to get Maeve out of here. Stuffing my keys and both phones into my pockets, I ease outside.

The exterior lights are off, thankfully. Keeping to the shadows, I dart across the patio and pause, listening near the French doors. I can make out hushed voices in the living room, the words unintelligible but carrying an unmistakable urgency. Then, three more gunshots and the sound of a struggle. Heart racing, I edge around the side of the house, toward the window in Maeve’s ballet room. I hold my breath, hopingit’s open the way it usually is, but it’s closed.Fuck.I give it a little push anyway, just in case, and it opens. Relief skyrockets through my body.

Hoisting myself through the window, I land silently. The scent of gunpowder singes the air. Leo would have told me if they moved the day up, right? But this can’t be just a random skirmish. Not sure what I’m stepping into, I send Lewis an SOS on the burner and move to the open doorway. Only then do I realize that it’s gone quiet, which is nearly as bad as the gunshots and yelling.

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