Page 53 of Shadow Dance

“Thanks. It’s Grandma Flora’s shepherd’s pie,” I say, pointing to the slender, graceful slope of Callum’s late grandmother’s script. We only met a few times over the years, but she was a sweet woman who loved asking Callum when he was going to marry me. The fact that he still hasn’t asked would probably break her heart, but not as much as what he’s turned into these days.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” he crows, squeezing my ass yet again.

I smack his hand away as the front door opens and the foyer erupts with a cacophony of voices. Irritation prickles through me. I’m so tired of the nonstop parade of randoms coming through this house. Callum always says he bought this place for me, but that’s bullshit. He bought it for himself.

“You fools are in for a treat. No one cooks like my girl,” Callum crows loudly, swaggering out of the kitchen with a six pack of Coke from the fridge. “Maeve, we still have that rum, right? The stuff we brought back from the Bahamas last summer?”

“Check the liquor cabinet,” I call, but he’s already gone.

Before long, music, chatter, and smoke drift from the living room. I serve the shepherd’s pie in the dining room when it’s ready, and though I’m tempted to lock myself in the bedroom and let everyone else do what they want, I force myself to sit down and be social. One girl, a blonde with a sharp bob that reminds me of Delphine’s hair in high school, is sweet, but her friends seem catty and conniving, laughing too loud and flirting with everyone.

Still, I remain the gracious hostess, wondering which of them, if any, Callum’s had. It’s an unspoken thing that most of the men in the De Leon family have women on the side. Maybe his next girlfriend will be cool with it.

I’m expecting things to settle down once dinner is over, but a new wave of people shows up. Callum turns on the patio heaters and everyone crowds around the pool, the music so loud I’m worried some neighbor will call the cops.

“Dinner was so good, baby,” Callum says, cornering me in the kitchen while I’m cleaning up. “I love it when you cook like that. Reminds me of old times.”

“Glad you liked it.”

“Ilovedit. Everybody did.” He drops kisses all over my neck, and I shiver in all the wrong ways. His affection is unwelcome, what we have tainted, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep him at bay. Callum’s always had a crazy libido, and the coke makes it worse. Maybe that’s why he cheats.

“Good.” Dropping a kiss on his cheek, I bend to load the dishwasher.

But Callum stops me, tugging me to him. “You can do this later. Come chill.”

“I’d really rather?—”

“Nah, come on. You never want to hang out anymore,” he says, a glimmer of the old Callum shining through his stoned eyes. “You’re my girl.”

“I know, Cal. It’s just.” I pause, glancing at the window over the sink. Outside, a girl I’ve never seen is letting a guy I’ve never seen snort something off her boobs. “It’s not really my scene.”

“You used to love it,” he says, linking our fingers.

“Yeah, maybe,” I say, biting my lip. “But this is our home, and I don’t know these people.”

“All right, all right, this is the last time. Okay?” He grins impishly, squeezing my fingers. “Promise.”

I nod, knowing it won’t be the last time. But that’s okay, because I’ll be gone. He returns to his guests while I finish up in the kitchen, wiping down the counters and starting the dishwasher. Turning off the light, I take one last look out the window. Callum’s right. Years ago, I loved this kind of thing. It was fun. I would’ve been at his side or on his lap, knowing it was where I belonged.

My heart stops when I find Jaime in the crowd. He’s on the other side of the pool, close to his guest house, a beer bottle dangling from his fingertips. I can’t see the girl he’s talking to too well, but she’s got dark hair and a great body and they’re chatting like they know each other. It’s the way they lean into each other, the ease and openness in Jaime’s stance.

I watch them for a long time, my heart aching. Jaime really is beautiful. Magnetic, even, which is interesting because he’s so quiet. But women are drawn to him anyway—I know I am. I rub my chest, wishing I was the one talking to him, making him smile like that. ButI’m not, and maybe I’ll never be. So what if we kissed? So what if it feels like he gets me? He owes me nothing.

Because at the end of the day, I have no right to Jaime when I still belong to someone else. Why shouldn’t he enjoy himself? All of Callum’s guys do. Why would he be any different?

My throat closes as a hot tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe viciously at it, disgusted with myself.Get a fucking grip, Maeve. I don’t want to be this woman, living and dying on the whims of men. I’m tired of it, tired of my own damn self.

Kissing Jaime meant something to me, but that’s not the point. The point is to behave as if nothing has changed. The point is to finesse this situation long enough to make a clean getaway. I can’t allow myself to get distracted from that. Leaving the window, I walk down the hall and into our bedroom, locking the door. Callum has a key. He can get in if he needs to.

When he collapses into bed later on, I pretend to be asleep. He whispers my name, and I feel his fingertips dance across my arm. “You up, Mae?”

He rolls away and I swallow, glad that I’m off the hook for tonight. We’ve always had an active sex life and turning him down repeatedly is going to require creativity. But a moment later he’s beneath the sheets, sucking my neck as he grinds his dick against my ass. “C’mere baby,” he whispers, pulling my panties down.

I wiggle away, tired of feeling like an object he can stick his dick in when he wants. “Come on, Callum. I’m not in the mood.”

“Then get in the mood,” he laughs, his hand working between my thighs now. I can tell by his voice that he’s drunk and high off who knows what, the version of him I trust the least. He’s hard to deal with when he’s like this. “I miss this pussy.”

I roll awkwardly over to face him beneath the blankets, my ankles caught in my underwear, and draw my legs in. “I really don’t want to tonight, okay?”

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