Page 62 of Feral

I massaged his hands, rubbing along every scar in long, smooth motions until the tension in them began to ease. I looked up at his face and smiled at his half-closed eyes, his expression full of wonder, like he’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone’s touch bring pleasure rather than pain.

My smile withered when I remembered that he probably had. “It might take a while, but I think we can eventually bring some more mobility back.”

Zach stretched his fingers experimentally, wincing when his tendons protested. They were still very stiff and clumsy, but at least some of the swelling seemed to have gone down.

“All right. What do you say I give you a shot of your medicine, and then we go stretch our legs and find some breakfast? We’re gonna be staying here for a while.” I turned to reach for the bag in the back of the Jeep that held the bottles of di-hydroperalimitus and syringes, pulling out the supplies I needed. I wasn’t sure how often or how much would be the correct dosage, but I’d decided half a milliliter each morning and evening would be the best bet.

Except when I turned back around to Zach, needle in hand, his face twisted into first shock and thenrage.

Too late I realized what the sight of a drawn syringe would symbolize to him.

“No, no! I’m not going to hurt you, I promise!” I quickly dropped the needle behind me and held up both hands in surrender. Zach glared at me, nostrils flaring. The look of distrust on his face was clear.

“Hey, you know me,” I said, slowly reaching for him. His lip curled up higher in response, but when he didn’t growl, I reached out to rest my palm against his chest once more. “I’m never going to hurt you; you must know that. You must be able to feel that.”

His heart thudded unsteadily underneath my palm, and my gut twisted when I realized how scared he was. His anger I could take, his animalistic fury and mistrust too… but naked fear? It crushed me.

I blinked away the tears threatening to spill down my face and leaned in. When my lips pressed against his, he startled, but I persisted. Gently, slowly, I coaxed his mouth to follow mine as I guided our kiss. It was so different from when he’d kissed me, every brush of our lips light and soft and sweet, until finally some long minutes later, his heart eased to a slow, steady rhythm.

Only then did I pull back so I could reach around for the syringe with the hand not resting against his chest.

His upper lip rose again at the sight of it, but he didn’t bare his teeth fully.

“This is medicine, Zach. To make you feel better—to heal you,” I said, keeping my gaze locked in his. “It’s going to make you feel better.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, but when I grasped his hand and put the syringe in his palm, he stayed still.

“Hold that. I need to get the rubbing alcohol.”

It wasn’t only out of a sense of convenience that I allowed him to hold the syringe; I also wanted to give Zach a sense of control over his fate, and it seemed to work. He sat still as a stone while I rubbed the alcohol over his bicep and allowed me to take the syringe from him again, though he never stopped watching me for any indication that I would break his trust.

I breathed deeply and evenly, ensuring I didn’t give him any reason to kick into fight-or-flight mode, and jabbed the needle into his skin. He let out an angry growl at the prick of pain, but I managed to push the plunger in before he jerked away.

“Stop that,” I scolded, keeping my tone light and friendly as I reached for his arm to free the needle.

I got a low growl in return.

“I know, you have every reason not to like needles.” I leaned in again and kissed him right over his heart. “When you calm down again, we’ll go look for some breakfast, okay?”

I could feel his glare as I rested my cheek against his chest, snuggling close to soothe him with my nearness. Instinctively I knew his bond would work to calm him the same way mine did when we were skin to skin.

It didn’t take long before he relaxed and wrapped both his arms around me. I sighed as my bond hummed in appreciation of being surrounded so completely by him.

But when he buried his nose in my hair and began sniffing at me, I gently untangled myself from his grip and pulled back. “Yeah, no, I need to pee way too much for you to start getting any ideas.”

Zach rumbled at me, a questioning sound rather than a growl this time. I reached behind him and opened his door, hoping to distract him with the smell of fresh air. It worked.

The big alpha turned toward the now open door, sniffed once—and leapt outside in one jump.

I quickly got out my own side of the car, momentarily worried he’d run off, but he just stood in the middle of our impromptu camp, staring up into the canopy of trees above us.

Jerome shot me a worried look, one eyebrow raised in silent question, and I shook my head. I’d been trapped in the underground lab for a week, and the shock of fresh air during our escape had been nearly overwhelming. For Zach… it’d been much longer. He needed a moment’s peace to feel the sunlight on his face.

I quietly gathered up some protein bars from the SEALs’ packed rations and found a towel, a bar of soap, and spare clothes for both of us as well. Zach was still staring up in the trees, his head tilting in the direction of each bird chirping nearby. Only when I approached him did he turn his head to me, eyes locking on mine. His face held an expression so novel to him that it took me a moment to decipher it.

Joy.

I bit my lip to stop more tears from welling. I’d cried so much, but I could do nothing to temper the relief brimming in my chest.

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