Page 84 of Trouble

“You know I couldn’t lose you. Either of you,” Louis said. His voice was still cracked and hoarse, and the thought of what’d been done to him to make it sound like that made me want to cling to him and sob into his neck like a child. But something held me back. Something hadbeenholding me back ever since we’d left that warehouse a few hours ago. I wanted to kiss them, confirm with my own hands and lips that they were both going to be all right and that we’d truly made it through this nightmare. But Ihadn’t.

“Do you think I’d survive losingyou,you fool?” Liam asked, his voice too raw with emotion to hide the pain. He dabbed disinfectant on the two stitches he’d put in his brother’s eyebrow to close up the gash there. “It’s always been you and me.Always.”

And there it was. The reason I couldn’t give in to my desperate urge to climb onto the couch with them and tell them how much I lovedthem.

The Russian’s words echoed in my head as I stared at the two twins who’d changed me so fundamentally I could barely recognize myself. The men who’d stolen my heart and broken it into two equalparts.

You will ruin themboth.

As I looked at them on the couch, their bond was so visible it may as well have been a physical entity. They truly were two halves of a whole. An entity. I’d gotten between them, an outsider who didn’t understand, and it’d nearly broken both of them. In the end, if I ever chose one and not the other, they would both wither and die, and the life and laughter I’d first felt when I met them would be gone. Because ofme.

“We’ll need to get you to the hospital with that shoulder,” Liam said, breaking my inward spiralingthoughts.

“It’ll be fine on its own,” Louisprotested.

Liam leveled him with an unamused stare and a cocked eyebrow. “It’s bad enough we both have to add to our tattoos with all these new fucking scars—I am not adopting a hunchback so we are still identical when your shoulder sets wrong because you’re a massive knobhead and didn’t go to the fucking hospital.” He looked at me, his face smoothing and his voice gentling. “You wanna come, love? Or do you need to sleep? The flat’s secure—we’ve got men watchingit.”

My heart clenched as I looked into his gray eyes. The love in them was unhindered by the exhaustion painted across his handsome face, and I wanted so much to give in to my stupid heart begging me to stay. I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and sleep the horrors of the past few days and weeks away, only to wake up in a warm embrace and a world where everything was okay—where I’d get my happy ending, because that’s how fairytales turned out. You slay the dragon and get the prince, and live happily everafter.

But that wasn’t how our story wouldend.

“I…” I looked from him to Louis, and fuck, it hurt. It hurt more than anything I’d ever had to do, but Ihadto do it. If I was selfish, if I stayed, then it would only hurt them both infinitely more in the longrun.

“I’m not coming with you. And I’m not staying.” I drew in a deep breath and got to my feet, locking my knees when my legs wobbled. “I think it’s best if we end this now, before it’s toolate.”

The look of shock on both twins’ faces wasidentical.

“Audrey,no—”

“I know it’s been brutal, love, I do.” They both got to their feet, Louis a little slower than Liam thanks to his broken and battered body. They reached for me, trying to assure me, but I stepped back. I couldn’t stand the thought of their hands on me, because I knew if they touched me, I wouldn’t be able to find the strength to break away. Not now, notever.

“But it’s over now. I swear on everything that’s holy you will never again be put through what you’ve been these past fewdays.”

“We can protect you now, Audrey. You’re safe. We don’t have to hide anymore. No one will touchyou.”

I looked down, unable to keep looking at the desperate plea in both sets of gray eyes, and fought against the tears threatening to spill over. “It’s not that. You know it’snot.”

“Then what? What can wedo?”

I looked back up, losing the battle against the tears. They slid down my cheeks, fat streaks of translucent pain. “This doesn’t end well. I can’t choose between you. I love you both… so much. And I can’t bear to see you fall apart. If I come between you,this… your bond—I’d ruin you, both of you, and I couldn’t live withthat.”

“Audrey, no, that’s not—” Louis reached for me with his good arm, but I flinchedaway.

“You of all people know it is,” I said, looking at his many injuries. “You knew it at the cemetery—you gave yourlifebecause you knew there’s no way the three of us could ever be happy. Do you think he could be happy knowing you were broken? Couldyou?If I choose you, can you live with the knowledge that your twin is hurting because ofus?”

I saw it in his eyes, the moment he understood the truth in my words. Pain so intense it echoed in my own twisting gut flashed across his face. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. He knew I was right, and the evidence was written all over his beautiful, brokenface.

Drawing in a deep breath to give me the strength I needed, I turned and walked toward their frontdoor.

“Audrey.”

It was a whisper. I didn’t know from who, and I didn’t turn around to findout.

“I don’t think we should see each other again. It… it would hurt too much,” I said, my voice as broken as my aching heart. “Goodbye.”

* * *

“Honey,why don’t you call your old job. I bet they’d love to have you back. Maybe you’re not feeling well because you need to get back to your oldlife.”

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