Page 88 of Lessons with the Mothman

I chewed on my lip, debating my answer, wondering why he was asking thisnowand what he wanted to hear. I decided on honesty.

"No. I liked it. I would've liked watching the pair of you together, even from the side, like I usually do," I said, folding my arms beneath my head and turning it just enough to see the looming shadow of him out of the corner of my eye. "Did it bother you?"

Elias snapped the tie around the end of my hair, draped the braid over my shoulder, and then leaned down to kiss my cheek, bracing his hands on my lower back.

"I did experience some jealousy, especially as they watched you in the height of your orgasm," Elias said. His voice was light, considering, approaching his own discomfort with curiosity. Then he laughed. "I enjoyed it, actually. I expected to enjoy watching you with Nico, but I was surprised that even the tinge of possessiveness I felt added to my arousal and urgency."

I lay still beneath him, eyes wide at his answer, processing in slow motion. He'd been jealous. He'd enjoyed it. He'dorganizedthis for me, a night together, with another person. And now we were alone, and he was as affectionate and thoughtful as ever. His fingers dug into my tired muscles, and I gave up my weak attempt at analysis in favor of relaxing into the bed with a low moan.

"You tensed a great deal tonight," Elias murmured. "You brace against your orgasm, did you know that?"

I grunted, not really caring at the moment, as his thumbs smoothed a line up either side of my spine.

"The first time I made you come you were sleeping, utterly relaxed. It was quite easy compared to when you're awake and thinking and fighting against the process."

"Elias," I said, wrinkling my nose. As much as I liked studying others' sexual responses, I wasn't in the mood to have my own picked apart. Maybe in the morning.

"I want a relationship with you," he said.

I stiffened, but only for a moment. Elias's hands were spreading and kneading, and I was sotired, and it was impossible to resist the effect his touch had on me now.

"I didn't plan tonight as a last hurrah to your independence, if that's what you're worried about," he said, and he bent once more, placing a wet kiss on the nape of my neck, adding a teasing circle of his tongue. I tried not to squirm, and tried not to tense either, now that he'd pointedthatout.

"I want a relationship with you, but it doesn't have to follow any set of rules except the ones we make for it. We don't even have to make rules," Elias said lightly. I tried to lift myself to roll over, but Elias was heavy and he didn't give me a chance, just started working on my shoulders.

"I think a solid relationship does need to be mindful ofsomeboundaries," I said.

"You're right. Butourboundaries, not anyone else's," Elias said. "I don't want a perfect cardboard woman who…who… Honestly, Victoria, I wouldn't even know what to expect."

"Fits in with your friends, charms your coworkers, dresses to attract you but not to provoke others, agrees with?—"

"My friends don't fit in with each other, and none of us care a whit. I don'thavecoworkers, I have employees and acquaintances, but even if I did, why you should charm them, I have no idea. You are attractive to me at every moment, and I don't particularly care who else thinks so. And if youeveragree with me for the sake of peace, I will hear the lie in your voice and I will pester and press and irritate you until youspit out the truth."

The speech was, from Elias at least, a veritabletirade. It was snappish and sharp, sarcastic and dismissive. The ensuing silence between us was brittle and expectant, as if Elias had said more than he might've intended to, or at least in not so pleasing a tone as he would've wished.

"Let me up," I said.

Elias sighed, murmuring my name in a plea, but he slid to the side, flopping back onto the bed at my side, looking remarkably defeated, more than I'd ever seen him.

He wanted me.Me. Head to toe and every cold, analytical, reserved nook and cranny in my mind.

I leaned over him and his eyes met mine, his features rearranging to hide the blatant droop of disappointment that had stolen over him.

"Do you know what I don't want?" I asked.

There was a flash of hurt in the wince around his eyes, but he blinked and lifted his chin up, waiting. Still, that hint of his thoughts bruised my heart, and I knew what he expected to hear.I don't want you, or at leastI don't want a relationship.

"I don't want the mysterious, aloof, prestigious fae who can't be more to me than an attractive unknown," I said.

Elias's brow furrowed and he blinked at me.

"That man islonely, Elias," I said, and the connection of his gaze flickered as he tried to shut his eyes. I grabbed his face, catching his attention once more. "I don't want you to get along with my family. I don't want you to use your influence—that you only have because you're the only one of your kind locally, which has got to beisolating—to help me with my study. Youdeserveto be known, Elias. You deserve to be thought highly of because you're an interesting, creative person, and you deserve to be thought poorly of because you're kind of a snob."

His eyes were crinkling at the corners, lips twitching. "So are you," he said softly.

I nodded. "I want you to be jealous," I whispered, bending my head down to graze my lips over his. "And I want you to enjoy it."

"Victoria," he started, and I covered his mouth with my hand.

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