Page 63 of Lessons with the Mothman

"We could do all of them," I said. She shook her head, laughing. "Which ones?"

"Tea would be nice. A bath too…" She hesitated, but I was patient. "Would you wash my hair and then braid it?"

I stood up, and Victoria barked out a full belly laugh as she found herself scooped up in my arms. "Of course. Let's get the water started while you pick out which flavor of tea you'd like."

Victoria hummedas I tucked a curl behind her ear and into the thick mass of twisted braids. It was still dark out, but dawn would come soon, and then it would be time for her to leave.

She was meant to leave the night before, but I'd whispered "stay" in her ear while we'd lain on the bed, and she'd told me to find her phone so she could text her friend to make sure he didn't mind an extra night.

I wondered if I could repeat the word once more, if it was like a magic spell.

"I've been thinking about your biochemistry problem," I said instead.

Victoria's lips curved up at the corner.

"You shouldn't go cold turkey, right?"

We hadn't had sex after our conversation and the bath the day before. My mating season had slipped away, and I had no doubt that Victoria was sore.

"I can't yet, Elias," she said, confirming the very thought.

"Not now," I said, kissing her brow, noting the way she relaxed and leaned into me. "Only maybe…not so…by appointment?"

Her eyelashes tangled into the fur on my chest, and she leaned back. I could see her in the dark, and I suspected she didn't realize what a good view I had of her puzzling frown.

"Did it feel like an appointment before?" she asked.

"Not like a job," I said quickly. "I just… What if I called you up one afternoon and said, 'Hey, what are you doing tonight?'"

She smirked. "Booty call."

"Booty calls happen after midnight. And they're mainly texts now."

"Ah, so this would be a more sophisticated version," she teased.

I rustled on the bed, feeling an itchy, annoyed pleasure at being poked at this way. "Victoria?—"

"Elias, we've already crossed the boundary we set at the beginning," she said with a sigh. A hard, intangible blow struck me in the stomach, and I braced for her refusal. "Of course we can see one another without making it an act. I'd like that."

Love, I observed as relief swamped me like a wave, was the symptom of extreme responses to small gestures. I hid my relief by covering Victoria's lips with mine.

"Tomorrow night?" I asked, and then scowled at the burst of nerves in my chest. It was only a question! But every millisecond Victoria didn't answer seemed to call on another flare of anxiety. "Doesn't have to be for sex. Dinner. Or we could…watch a movie."

I didn't own a television, but that was easily remedied.

"Mmm." Victoria stretched against me, huffing and dropping her cheek back on my chest. I should've been letting her sleep. "I suppose a little shot of dopamine tomorrow would be good. You know, to regulate."

I huffed and analyzed my own response to her answer. Sex it was then. Was I disappointed or pleased?

This was the problem with fae not taking mates, like many other species. My markers for love were based on watching Khell and Rafe, who had more or less moved in with their partners upon the discovery of their mating bonds. But as confident as I was of my own feelings, I was fairly sure the suggestion ofcohabitation at this point would result in Victoria making a quick excuse to leave my bed. Or at least a very uncomfortable and romantically discouraging conversation.

It struck me, suddenly obvious, that even though I was in love with Victoria, she probably wasn't in love with me.

This would require planning.

Brrrr.Brrrr.

I paused the film on a scene of the couple embracing in the rain, frowning as I dug my phone out of my pocket. Research had promised that this film was a romantic masterpiece, but like all the others I had watched in my pursuit of understanding love, I failed to see Victoria and myself in the story.

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