Page 63 of Howl for the Gargoyle

"Ma'am."

"Yes, all right," I said, and there was no growl or snarl, just a weak sigh of resignation. "I am…I am canceling all further appointments because I am emotionally invested in my connection with my partner Rafe. I think…I might be forming a mating bond, and I…"

And I should be telling him this, I thought, eyes stinging. I’d considered digging into Natalie or Sunny, seeing if there was a way to just call him, but that felt like crossing one boundary too many.

"And I don't want to impose my emotions on his work if he doesn't feel the same," I said softly.

The answer was clipped, and I flinched. "I see. Anything else?"

Fuck.

"Tell Rafe he was perfect. Tell MSA too, whoever needs to hear it. He was everything I needed, above and beyond, and I…I'm so grateful. And I…really hope he feels the same way."

Fuck.

Keys clacked on the other end of the line, the coldest possible response. "Well. You've done the right thing."

I was pretty sure I hadn't.

"You'll…pass all of that along to Rafe?"

"Yes, he's entitled to the entirety of the interview."

Which was not, "Of course, we'll call him immediately and let him know how you feel." But it was probably all I was going to get. Still, I had to try.

"If you could even just patch a call through—"

"Good day, Miss Shay," the agent said, and then there was only silence.

Fuck.

I stared out my bay window toward the water, the gray glimmer of Lake Michigan just visible on the horizon, through the park. I'd made a mistake. I should've waited to see Rafe. I hadn't meant to cancel our appointments, I'd only said I might need to, and then everything had spiraled and—

I snarled as my phone vibrated in my white-knuckle grip.

Fuck. Dad.

My thumb hovered over the screen as my head whirled. MSA would be pissed, but maybe I could reach out to Natalie, get a phone tree to Rafe going, at least to let him know I wanted to talk. Or I could keep the appropriate boundaries in place, pass the ball into Rafe's court to make his own decision without trying to hunt him down. Maybe that was better. Maybe it was appropriate to let him learn about my feelings without the pressure of an appointment to respond favorably?

There were too many variables, and I needed a distraction. I swiped.

"Hey, Dad,"

"Hey there, kiddo! Guess who's in town?"

I laughed. Dad had been in town for three days, actually. I'd seen it in the Red-Eye yesterday, but three days before a call wasn't bad for him.

"Welcome back to home number three," I teased.

"Always good to be back in Chicago and nearly swept down Wabash at the first chance. Hey, what say you to a little get-together tonight at mine? Dinner and drinks. Bring your band. You can schmooze before your tour!"

I wanted to say no, except Dad would zip out of town again before I knew it and I did like to see him when I could, even if it was only a few sincere words mixed in with all the hype and gaiety he surrounded himself with. And the band would lose their minds to get invited to one of Dad's infamous parties. I owed them moments like this, especially Kiernan and Mikey, who'd months of waiting for me to come out of hibernation.

"That sounds perfect," I said, forcing a smile even if he couldn't see it. It would be good practice for tonight.

I'd messed up, but I'd salvaged what I could. Rafe would see my message. All I could do was cross my fingers and hope to hear from him.

CHAPTER 23

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