Page 47 of The Kingdom's Crown

Nora and Morgan glanced at one another with wide eyes, Nora's pale hands wringing over her dark skirt.

"You don't need to worry about us, Your Highness," Morgan said, obviously taking pains to make her voice sound soft and demure. "We…we laid out a dress for you, but only if you—you don't have to, um…wear it."

I gaped blankly at the dress, none of my thoughts seeming to fire in the right direction. I'd been nervous for these two women to join my service, but now I was barely able to focus on them. On anything for that matter.

"Thank you, that was very thoughtful," Wendell said, joining me at my side, his long fingers sliding against mine and clasping. "You were shown your rooms?"

Morgan and Nora both murmured yes.

"Very good. I think that will be all for today," Wendell said.

My cheeks flushed, the heat of shame burning there, but I couldn't argue, my eyes fixed to the gown on the bench. It was so…ornate, which seemed wrong somehow, as if elegance should matter at the moment.

Fabric rustled as my ladies-in-waiting made a quiet escape, and Wendell's free hand not tangled with mine turned me around so I was facing my Chosen and not the black gown.

"What do I do?" I whispered, frowning.

"You've barely eaten today. You'll take a little supper and a long soak in the bath, and you'll let us read to you," Wendell said, soft and matter of fact.

"There's too much to—"

"Not today," he said more quickly.

My head turned, and Wendell caught my chin. "I don't want to wear that thing."

"It's hideous, where did they find it?" Thao asked and then went silent with a stern glance from Cosmo.

"Six weeks of mourning start tomorrow," Wendell said. "But tonight, you rest."

"Who am I mourning?" My Chosen all looked suddenly stricken, and I shook my head, my voice rising, growing tight. "I don't mean—Iknow, but I… When she…when she died, I thought to myself, 'But who will support me to the crown?' And stars, what kind of thing is that to think when—"

"Oh, Bryony," Cosmo gasped out, rushing forward and wrapping me up in tight arms. "Stop. It's all right."

"She's my grandmother, and all I could think was that I'd lost my best ally!" I cried out. My body was shaking in Cosmo's arms, but everything was so disconnected and I couldn't sort out how the pieces of myself fit together.

"Shewasyour best ally," Cosmo said.

"I was political when I should've been—"

"Bryony, when the dowager queen arrived at the Winter Palace, it was obvious the two of you weren't…close," Cosmo said, leaning back and wincing.

The last time I'd seen her, she called me a mutation, I thought vaguely.

"I can honestly say that I am so glad that your relationship improved. Not just for the sake of a crown, but foryou." Cosmo kissed my cheek for a long pause. "You're not unfeeling, little muse. Any one of us could tell you that.Shewould've told you that."

"You can grieve your ally and your grandmother, darling girl," Aric said, brow furrowed. "There's no organizing these kinds of feelings into the right order. Wendell is right. You need to eat and rest tonight."

"But—"

Aric's lips pressed flat, and as he moved forward, so did the others until I was surrounded by them. "Grief is chaos, princess. One day, not long after Charlotte died, I was soangrywith her, I couldn't shake it. She should've known better than to let herself get so sick. She was half of what made me the king I was, more than half of what made me the man I was at that time. I was furious and ashamed of myself, but the more I fought my anger, the stronger it grew. Half of mourning is sitting with your own ugly feelings and letting them pass."

"He's right, I went through the same with my mother when she passed," Daniel said, catching my eye. "And you should always remember that none of us here would ever judge you."

Aric's lips twitched, and I glanced at Cosmo, his answering smile tight. "Not for this, certainly," he said.

I closed my eyes and tried to let go of the eerie floating feeling I couldn't shake, of the echo in my head and odd numb turning of my thoughts. And when that didn't work, I simply opened my eyes and accepted that I would have to carry on with them.

"Someone get me out of this dress," I said, and I leaned into my men as they closed in closer, holding me up.

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