A tiny smile curls her lips. "Because you are one stubborn ass, JamesMaddox."
I nod. "Not the worst thing I've been called. And now I should probably tell you the main reason for my visit." I motion with my head toward the bed. "Aside from one rocking good therapy session." I comb my fingers through my hair. My classic stalling tactic and Ten knowsit.
"Uh oh, he's going for the hair. What's up?" Her lips part. "Is it about Freestone?" She draws in her lips, quickly after seeing my reaction to his name. "I just thought maybe they were getting closer to findinghim."
"Not sure how I'd know that since I'm banned from the case. Maybe you should ask your secret connection,Silvana."
Her eyes round with feigned innocence. "What secret connection? The only connections Sil and I have are sugary treats and jalapeno flavored potato chips. That'sall."
"Liar." She opens her mouth to defend herself but I stop her. "I saw the list of names he gave you. You left it out on the coffee table. It's all right, Ten. Do what you need to do. But be ready for next week. I just met the team of two experts who are going to be grilling and evaluating Detective Tennyson after her months in captivity. And let's just say, they don't seem like the kind of people you'd be chilling with on a Saturdayafternoon."
"Great." I follow her out to the front room. "I don't understand why I can't just give my statement to Clark and be done with it. That's what you got todo."
I walk to the refrigerator and pull out the milk. "Really? You're willing to tell all to Clark? You'd just bare your soul about everything that happened to you down in Freestone's hell hole to Clark?" We're cycling back to the tension. Our moments of humor aren't enough to hold us steady anymore. There's just too much charged static betweenus.
Her laugh is angry. "Frankly, I'm not baring an ounce of my soul to anyone. As far as I'm concerned, I can keep as much to myself as I damn well please. So don't worry your head about living with the shame of my erotic escapades in Lace Underground. Of course you already know about it, don't you? Kane was generous enough to give you a good show of it." There's a catch in her throat but she continues unabated. "That's probably the one thing I can hate him for the most. It showed that I was just a sideshow forhim."
My angry laugh is far harsher than hers. "Really? That's the thing you can hate him for? Not keeping you out of your mind on drugs so he could do anything he wanted with you? Showing me the tape of his fucking you, that's your reason to hatehim?"
Ten folds her arms around herself. It's a defensive habit she only just started once she got to rehab. The old Ten, the one who wouldn't think twice before climbing a chain link fence to tackle some big dude three times her size, never curled into her own arms as a line ofdefense.
"Fuck." I brace my hands against the counter and stare down at the faded linoleum floor. It's the same green and white floor that I dropped an entire gallon of milk on when I was seven. Uncle Nate was cool about it, but it took me an hour to mop the mess up. I hear Ten's light footsteps as she walks to the couch. She wraps herself into the plaid throw. It seems my uncle's old blanket is much better at providing comfort and security thanme.
I lean against the kitchen doorway. She is staring out the glass door, looking everywhere but mydirection.
"Clark and his team of experts told me I need to stay away fromyou."
Her face snaps my direction. "What do youmean?"
"Dr. what's-her-name, the woman who is going to be part of the debriefing, decided I need to stay away from you until they're finished. Could be a month or more, depending on how thingsgo."
She blows out a nervous laugh. "Since when do you follow orders from some Dr. what's-her-name? Nothing worse than complete strangers deciding what's right and wrong forme."
I step into the front room and gaze down at her. She still looks frail and lost. Angie Tennyson hasn't found her way back home yet. "Clark says if I don't stay away, he'll transfer me to anotherprecinct."
She brings the blanket up higher around her shoulders and sinks her face lower so that only her eyes and button nose are visible. "He's just bullshitting you. He'd never send you away. You're like the big, obnoxious son he neverhad."
I stand there, trying to pick my next words carefully. It seems that I make nothing but misstepslately.
Ten fills in the silent gap. Her brown eyes look big in her small face. "I need you. I don't want to go through this withoutyou."
My throat is tight, making even a swallow difficult. It takes me a stupid ass amount of time to find my tongue. She does that to me. She's the only woman who can knock me speechless, breathless. "I'm still with you even when you don't see me or talk to me. I'm attached to you whether you like it or not, like some creepy guardian angel. And to tell you the truth, Ten, I'm starting to think it might be a goodidea."
I get the exact reaction I'mexpecting.
"Fine, go then. Fucking coward." Ten tosses away the blanket and stomps hard on her thin legs and small feet to the glass door. She throws it open and the salty ocean breeze sweeps into the room. Her hair looks like copper flames as it blows back off herface.
I stand behind her but keep my hands to my sides, balling my fists to keep from reaching out to touch her. "It's just that we spend a lot of time like this—tense and angry. You need to getbetter—"
She swings around. "I'm tired of people telling me I need to get better. This is it, honey bunch. This is what you get. Take it or leaveit."
I drop my head back and look up at the ceiling. "Fucking hell, apparently every damn syllable that comes out of my mouth is wrong. Don't you see? This is what I'm talking about. It's like watching a damn tennis match, only the ball is a fucking grenade ready to explode with each hit. I'm going to head back home. I just wanted to come here and let you know inperson."
"And get in a good fuck while you were at it." Tears glaze her eyesagain.
I point at her. "No, you don't get to throw that back at me. I walked in and you kissed me and—" I rub my face. "Fuck, fuck fuck. Can this get any fucking worse between us? Damn it, Ten. I love you but I'm going to bow out for awhile. I think it's for thebest."
"You're a damn coward." Her shoulders shake with a silent sob. "You're desertingme."